kids can be mean creatures. maybe in suburban maryland, after a young boy was brutally beaten to death in broad daylight, we are more in tune to it than some other places. maybe not. i suppose bullies exist in all part of the world. i wish they didnt have to exist in summer camp. f. has been having a bit of a rough time this summer at the camp we selected. [insert guilty mom themes here]
so i am opening it up to you internets, what do you do when your child is bullied? a completely unscientific poll as of yet has revealed that anyone with a Y chromosome says tell him to beat the crap out of the kid and it will be over. those lacking the Y choromosome tend to offer sympathy and advice leaning more towards taking it up with the authorities. at this point we are taking a mini break from camp and reassessing on monday. yesterday the low point of my day was listening to my child recount the story where a third party was sent to "karate chop" him because he asked for his pokemon card back, because the kid he had given it to didnt have a card to trade. the y chromosome advice is sounding pretty good...
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
over dinner
f: mom, am i adorable?
me: yes
f: oh man!!
me: why, who asked you that?
f: you dont need to know that!
me: was it a teacher (at camp)?
f: no.
me: how old was she?
f: i dont know, but she is in 5th grade.
me: oh, is she pretty?
f: yeah, i guess.
me: are you going to make her your girlfriend?
f: no.
me: why not?
f: i am just not up to it.
me: up to what?
f: having girlfriends.
me: oh, when do you think you will be up to having girlfriends?
f: i dont know mom, for now i just want to have pals. after i have pals, then i guess i will have girlfriends. can i have some more syrup?
me: yes
f: oh man!!
me: why, who asked you that?
f: you dont need to know that!
me: was it a teacher (at camp)?
f: no.
me: how old was she?
f: i dont know, but she is in 5th grade.
me: oh, is she pretty?
f: yeah, i guess.
me: are you going to make her your girlfriend?
f: no.
me: why not?
f: i am just not up to it.
me: up to what?
f: having girlfriends.
me: oh, when do you think you will be up to having girlfriends?
f: i dont know mom, for now i just want to have pals. after i have pals, then i guess i will have girlfriends. can i have some more syrup?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
bad mom
when i learned i was pregnant with twins, i had little idea about the impact the pregnancy itself would have on my unborn children. the human body is not meant to grow more than one baby at a time, yet somehow it stretches and make accommodations for all those little arms and legs and fingers and toes, and in the case of my children - big heads. since i was having a relatively easy pregnancy i think i was a bit shocked when i went for my 25 week check up to learn that i was already measuring full term. so to my body, it was like i was already carrying a full term singleton. it should have come as no surprise when less than a week later i landed in the hospital because my body was beginning to prepare for the delivery. the fact that i made it 5 weeks beyond that is an accomplishment that took a lot of hard work and dedication and lots of medicine. unless you have spent 5 weeks on bedrest, you cant really understand just how taxing that can be, physically and emotionally. people who havent been in that position think its like a vacation. i am telling you - its not. it was life altering.
while i knew the pregnancy had already been categorized as "high risk," i dont think i fully realized everything that would come to mean. what exactly would my children face because they were born 9 weeks early? how long would they be faced with those consequences? not being able to breath on their own. blood transfusions. head ultrasounds. infections. repeated hospitalizations. developmental delays. endless doctors appointments. evaluations. weekly therapy. at nearly 31 months out i still can not answer that question. they are still facing those consequences. and that just sucks.
today i visited with the boys speech therapist to go over the results of their most recent evaluation. seeing in writing that your 30 month old child has the expressive language skills of a child 14 months old is difficult. i know we are doing all the right things. i know we are soo lucky to have these resources available to us. i know that he is a happy and well adjusted child. i know all of the things that are supposed to make me feel better. but somehow today i still feel like a bad mom.
while i knew the pregnancy had already been categorized as "high risk," i dont think i fully realized everything that would come to mean. what exactly would my children face because they were born 9 weeks early? how long would they be faced with those consequences? not being able to breath on their own. blood transfusions. head ultrasounds. infections. repeated hospitalizations. developmental delays. endless doctors appointments. evaluations. weekly therapy. at nearly 31 months out i still can not answer that question. they are still facing those consequences. and that just sucks.
today i visited with the boys speech therapist to go over the results of their most recent evaluation. seeing in writing that your 30 month old child has the expressive language skills of a child 14 months old is difficult. i know we are doing all the right things. i know we are soo lucky to have these resources available to us. i know that he is a happy and well adjusted child. i know all of the things that are supposed to make me feel better. but somehow today i still feel like a bad mom.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
no longer counting on one hand
i dont know how it happened, but i am now the mother of a 6 year old. f. is 6! i have to keep telling myself, so that it will eventually sink in.
f.,
you continue to amaze me with your zest to learn and your energy that knows no bounds. you are on the go from sun up to well past sun down most days. occasionally a late afternoon car trip will knock you out for a nap, but other than that you are all play all day. you have really started to become pretty self sufficient. you now have an opinion about your wardrobe, and i have to remind myself never to say that you look handsome - but you do!! you prefer to look cool! or rad! or awesome! you still have a very active imagination and love to tell stories, play with legos, play video games on the computer, play wii and watch icarly. when did that happen?!
you crack me up at least once a day. i always find myself composing blog posts in my head about the things that come out of your mouth. i promise to get better about that, because my memory isnt nearly as sound as it used to be. this week you started camp. although you were going into it not knowing a single soul, you took to it like a champ. the camp is called a "summer fun center" the first day you told me you thought they should just rename it "summer fu center" because while it was fun, it wasnt quite worthy of the "n" in fun. the second day though it earned the "n" - thank goodness. you are growing up before my very eyes and actually refused to kiss me goodbye this morning at camp. wow, i thought i had until at least 2nd grade for that!
you made some great friends at school this year, and learned to read and write. you also took to math like a super star. you even got pulled out of class once a week for an accelerated math class, which you loved! i guess it doesnt matter that daddy and i had to pull out a calculator to help you with your homework!
while you still have some bouts of anxiety, you surprise me all the time with taking on things that i think might trigger it. you conducted the band earlier this year at a concert in front of a room full of strangers. you still talk about the band as "your band" and were soo proud of yourself. i hope that you always remain the happy little boy that you are today and i can continue to always share in these moments of intense pride that you have in yourself. just know that i am equally proud and feel incredibly blessed to have you in my life, much less be your mother.
you have started what has become probably my favorite habit of all time recently. when i say "i love you f." you reply "i love you more!" even though i know that my heart swells to the point of aching sometimes because i love you soo much and there is no possible way you could love me more than i love you it melts my heart each and every time i hear it. happy 6th birthday f.!
i love you f.,
mommy
editing because i forgot to mention. at dessert time on f.s 6th birthday we offered to sing him "happy birthday", he declined and requested "for he's a golly good fellow!" who is this 80 year old man, trapped inside my child?!
f.,
you continue to amaze me with your zest to learn and your energy that knows no bounds. you are on the go from sun up to well past sun down most days. occasionally a late afternoon car trip will knock you out for a nap, but other than that you are all play all day. you have really started to become pretty self sufficient. you now have an opinion about your wardrobe, and i have to remind myself never to say that you look handsome - but you do!! you prefer to look cool! or rad! or awesome! you still have a very active imagination and love to tell stories, play with legos, play video games on the computer, play wii and watch icarly. when did that happen?!
you crack me up at least once a day. i always find myself composing blog posts in my head about the things that come out of your mouth. i promise to get better about that, because my memory isnt nearly as sound as it used to be. this week you started camp. although you were going into it not knowing a single soul, you took to it like a champ. the camp is called a "summer fun center" the first day you told me you thought they should just rename it "summer fu center" because while it was fun, it wasnt quite worthy of the "n" in fun. the second day though it earned the "n" - thank goodness. you are growing up before my very eyes and actually refused to kiss me goodbye this morning at camp. wow, i thought i had until at least 2nd grade for that!
you made some great friends at school this year, and learned to read and write. you also took to math like a super star. you even got pulled out of class once a week for an accelerated math class, which you loved! i guess it doesnt matter that daddy and i had to pull out a calculator to help you with your homework!
while you still have some bouts of anxiety, you surprise me all the time with taking on things that i think might trigger it. you conducted the band earlier this year at a concert in front of a room full of strangers. you still talk about the band as "your band" and were soo proud of yourself. i hope that you always remain the happy little boy that you are today and i can continue to always share in these moments of intense pride that you have in yourself. just know that i am equally proud and feel incredibly blessed to have you in my life, much less be your mother.
you have started what has become probably my favorite habit of all time recently. when i say "i love you f." you reply "i love you more!" even though i know that my heart swells to the point of aching sometimes because i love you soo much and there is no possible way you could love me more than i love you it melts my heart each and every time i hear it. happy 6th birthday f.!
i love you f.,
mommy
editing because i forgot to mention. at dessert time on f.s 6th birthday we offered to sing him "happy birthday", he declined and requested "for he's a golly good fellow!" who is this 80 year old man, trapped inside my child?!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
career choices
f: when i grow up i am going to be a guitar player in a band.
me: that sounds good.
f: dont worry mom, i have two back up plans
me: oh
f: yup, the first one is a break dancer and the second back up plan is a soccer coach.
me: sounds like a good plan bud.
me: that sounds good.
f: dont worry mom, i have two back up plans
me: oh
f: yup, the first one is a break dancer and the second back up plan is a soccer coach.
me: sounds like a good plan bud.
Friday, June 12, 2009
high/low
f. graduated kindergarten this week. it was a sweet little ceremony. they sang the requisite songs about the days of the week and of course a song where they get to say butt eighthundredandfiftythousand times and then snicker and giggle with their cohorts. his teacher even included a candy-themed award presentation. think kindergarten version of most likely to.../best... fin was presented with the "100 grand" award for his outstanding math performance. which might as well have been a "most unlike his mother" award. but he was thrilled and so was i. and then he went up to accept his award and graciously shouted "yeah baby!" at the top of his kindergarten lungs on the way back to his seat. it was wonderful to see him so proud of his own accomplishments.
after graduation the plan was to come home and my mom would watch the lil boys nap while f. and i spent the afternoon at the swimming pool.
however, f. could not be talked into spending the afternoon at the pool with me. he could not be bribed into spending the afternoon at the pool with me. as hard as my mother and i tried, he was just not having it. when he thought we had finally given up and the little boys had gotten up from their nap, he says "you know, i think i would like to go to the pool now." in an effort to have him face whatever was causing his reaction head on, i said yes. then he backed out and said, "yeah, actually, i dont want to go to the pool."
instead i took them all for haircuts. boy do we know how to celebrate milestones around here.
f. sporting a new fauxhawk
m. terrified, but trying hard to stuff his face with hairy animal crackers and watch cartoons
k., who earned the gold star for the day.
after graduation the plan was to come home and my mom would watch the lil boys nap while f. and i spent the afternoon at the swimming pool.
a little back story here. an unforeseen fear of the pool somehow developed while we were there last time, which i think correlates to the fact that when he asked to go down the slide in the big pool i responded, "sure, daddy will be at the bottom to catch you." apparantly this was the wrong response because therein began the automatic crying (which has now been renamed "my reaction"). keep up folks. amidst being yelled at 3 times by the lifegaurd because m.&k. were running around the baby pool, f. and his reaction sort of got lost in the fray. when it was brought up again on the way back to the car, he insisted it had nothing to do with the slide.
however, f. could not be talked into spending the afternoon at the pool with me. he could not be bribed into spending the afternoon at the pool with me. as hard as my mother and i tried, he was just not having it. when he thought we had finally given up and the little boys had gotten up from their nap, he says "you know, i think i would like to go to the pool now." in an effort to have him face whatever was causing his reaction head on, i said yes. then he backed out and said, "yeah, actually, i dont want to go to the pool."
instead i took them all for haircuts. boy do we know how to celebrate milestones around here.
f. sporting a new fauxhawk
m. terrified, but trying hard to stuff his face with hairy animal crackers and watch cartoons
k., who earned the gold star for the day.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
tomorrow
tomorrow my firstborn graduates kindergarten. my baby is old enough to read and write and do math and dress himself and have friends that i dont know about and have crushes on little girls with names like brooke. when did this happen? i swear just yesterday, twelve days after my due date, that i was calling the hospital hoping beyond all hope that they would say "why yes, you can come in now to be induced." i swear just yesterday i labored for 18 hours and then pushed futilely for 3 hours to bring him into the world only to end up having a c-section anyway. i swear just yesterday i brought him home from the hospital and when my mother told me to go take a nap while she watched him i refused and cried actual tears saying that i would miss him too much to be in the other room sleeping. tomorrow my firstborn graduates kindergarten.
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