its back, with mixed reviews

still in the same calendar month and for that matter the same calendar year, i managed to get m&k by the birthday candle. k. is really not a fan, clearly.

f.isms

f: daddy, do you see that wii girl tennis player right there?
j: yes
f: she is beautiful!

----------------------------------------------------------

f: mommy, do you want to help me with my budget?
me: sure, bud.
f: ok, great.
me: what do you have on your budget so far?
f: well, there are bills, bakugan, money and games. what else do you think i need?

----------------------------------------------------------

while shopping with granny for christmas presents

granny: ok, now what do you want to buy your mom?
f: i think my my would really like the wave.
granny: what is the wave?
f: ugh, granny, you know THE wave.
granny: sweetie, i am sorry, i dont know what THE wave is. what does it look like? what does it do?
f: granny, its THE WAVE!
granny: how about this spatula?
f: ok!

----------------------------------------------------------

twelve things

i hate that...

...when f. invited you to watch him conduct the school band for one song in the winter concert, you claimed that you live too far away.

...when f. returned moments later with the great idea to have me video tape him conducting the band for you to see, that your response was to tell him that "sometimes those video things just don't turn out."

...you shamelessly cant be bothered to remember where your own son works or what it is that he does.

...you found something to complain about in our new house.

...for the last 8 years you felt the need to mention just how tiny our house was in each and every christmas letter you wrote.

...instead of actually interacting with them, you choose to take pictures of your grandchildren from the other side of the child safety gate.

...you spend nearly your entire visit with your head immersed in either a newspaper article or a cheap romance novel.

...when f. asks you to play a game with him you say no.

...you only bought one gift for m&k to share just because they are twins.

...you still cant tell m & k apart.

...you talk over f. when he is trying to tell you something important.

...my husband's heart cant help but be hardened a little bit after each one of your visits.

too good to be true

the in-laws have descended. currently i am seething. i am just going to leave it at, i knew it was too good to be true. i knew the last visit was an anomaly. now i have to go revive the seat cushions on the couch were their arses were planted for the last 6 or so hours - in the room where the children are not allowed. after all, christmas is all about the children, right?! seething...

merry christmas

ahh, the chaos of it all. christmas eve f. and i spent at the hospital, visiting with current NICU families and bedrested moms. the parents support group that i am a part of provided brunch for the NICU and bedrest families. once again i was reminded of just how fortunate we are to have three healthy children. i visited with a mom who was just wrapping up her 11th - yes 11th week on hospital bedrest. she had a smile on her face and was taking pleasure in the simple things like a the prospect of a wheel chair ride and a seated shower. only a former bedrester could understand that. l. - you are doing such a fantastic job - i am so proud of you. i hope and pray that you get your wish of ZERO days in the NICU. keep up the good work!

i was so pleased that f. wanted to go with me to the hospital and "pay it forward" as we say in our house. even now, two years later, f. can tell you when we are nearing the hospital - he knows that place like the back of his hand. imagine having that knowledge as a 5 year old. i was more than thrilled that we wanted to go help me make the day a little easier for the families that have no choice but to spend it there. as we pulled out of the parking garage he said to me, "mommy, that was fun!" my heart was warm to know that he now has a fond memory of the hospital. mission accomplished.

granny and pop brought dinner and presents galore for christmas eve and packed enough for a sleepover. we all woke up early this morning and enjoyed christmas through the eyes of children. there is nothing like waking up and seeing presents piled high around the chrismas tree and finding your stocking brimming with gifts as well. it was a bit of a feeding frenzy under the tree. just adding more proof to my theory that some days my life is like an episode of "when animals attack." it was soo much fun though! k. was really into opening presents - he didnt care whose present or what was inside really. he just truly enjoyed taking the wrapping paper off one scrap at a time. m. was all about what was inside of the presents, but didnt want to be bothered with removing the paper himself. if you gave him a present he would run around with it screaming "open, open, open, open" until someone would catch him and open it up for him. f. took joy in putting together all of his loot once opened. his new lego set with 445 pieces is about 1/4 of the way assembled and he was sad to have to leave to visit family this afternoon.

all in all it was a wonderful day. i am so fortunate to have a wonderful family and tonight i go to bed with a full and warm heart.

merry christmas everyone.

for all the NICU moms and dads out there

even now, two years later, it is still hard some days.

reprinted from Parenting Your Premature Baby and Child: The Emotional Journey by Deborah L. Davis (Author), Mara Tesler Stein (Author)

***** Imagines *****

Imagine... the unimaginable.

Imagine... the countdown to your due date taking on an urgency that could be a matter of life an death.

Imagine...all you have read about pregnancy and infancy becoming useless, and everything you believe about what to expect becoming irrelevant.

Imagine... the uncertainty and confusion, the fear and dread that replace happy anticipation.

Imagine... feeling your unborn baby kick and move -- knowing that each day inside matters and hoping for a week, a day, an hour.

Imagine... enduring a medical crisis during a time that is meant to be challenging but still smooth and natural.

Imagine... bracing yourself for the worst, during a time that is supposed to be filled with the best.

Imagine... the losses. Imagine being robbed of the final months of pregnancy -- that time of preparation, adjustment, and delicious anticipation.

Imagine... missing the birth you had planned, losing forever those precious moments after delivery.

Imagine... your tiny unfinished baby -- perhaps blue and unresponsive -- whisked away by strangers in scrubs.

Imagine... being left with empty arms and an aching heart.

Imagine... facing an overwhelming, unfamiliar, and frightening landscape -- a foreign land -- where humming machines loom over tiny babies.

Imagine... struggling to learn the new language of newborn intensive care, not comprehending what is happening.

Imagine... a flood of questions filling your mind, along with the terror asking them and hearing the answers.

Imagine... wanting to hope, being afraid to hope, longing to know what the future holds.

Imagine... wanting to protect your baby from pain and suffering in the NICU, knowing that your womb or your arms are far gentler than the embrace of warming beds and ventilators.

Imagine... aching to nurse a baby who is far to young or sick to suckle.

Imagine... longing to caress and cuddle, fearing your touch will hurt.

Imagine... holding your baby for the first time and realizing that your voice and touch are comforting.

Imagine... going home without your new baby, to an unfinished nursery and a life turned upside down.

Imagine... an uncertain future stretching before you, perhaps filled with doctors and evaluations and therapists.

Imagine... watching your baby's breathing and not taking it for granted.

Imagine... measuring your baby's feeding in millimeters and weight gain by the ounce.

Imagine... having to work so hard to help your baby grow and develop, and wanting so much to attain a sense of normalcy.

Imagine... feeling all alone, searching for a way to convey this experience to the people who care about you.

Imagine... being faced with an unexpected path, a journey that is very different from the one you had planned.

sadness

i have been struggling to put together this post for the better part of the week. this is supposed to be a time of peace and rejoicing, especially for families. earlier this week i cautiously opened an email titled "sad news" from a really close friend. that title didnt quite cover the magnitude of what happened. k. - i am so sorry for the loss of your nephew, garrett. no parent should ever have to bury their child. as a mother this thought is unimaginable.

tragically, garrett lost his life way too early. he spent his last day with his family decorating their christmas tree on this, only his 2nd christmas. i hope that some day his parents and brothers can find some comfort in enjoying this last tradition with him. we will all miss little garrett and remember his bright smile forever.












Garrett Wall Feldmann
(April 18, 2007 - December 16, 2008)

getting into the holiday spirit yet?

here maybe this will help - from the nicu days when they were "posable"

two by two

two two year olds. let that sink in. two two year olds! i can hardly believe it. this time of year conjures all sorts of emotions for me. there are all the memories of the bedrest and nicu days; coupled with the sheer joy of bringing m. home to complete our family of five. the hustle and bustle of this time of year got in the way of me actually making it here to wish you happy birthday on your actual birthday - but the wishes were shared with you nonetheless in real life. i love both of you more than ever and for all the same reasons and for totally different reasons all at once.

















m. you continue to celebrate language. currently your two favorite words are banana and coffee. you say both with such exuberance that one would think you are addicted to star.bucks just like your mama. you are a constant stream of narrative, all. day. long. then you wake up and start all over again. this month you have been particularly obstinent and began to voice your dissent loud and clear - "NO!"

you also scared mommy half to death when you discovered that in fact you are top heavy as suspected and toppled head first out of the shopping cart onto the carpet at a local department store. mommy cried longer than you did, trust me. i am sure you have already forgotten the incident, but the image of you starting to go over, when you were just out of my reach, will haunt me for years to come. i am sure the mother of the year committee is marking this down as we speak.

m., you continue to be a snuggle bug and can always be counted on for a good ole fashioned snuggle session. granted they are getting shorter in duration, and i could do without the narration, but i will take what i can get. you have been eating like a champ for the most part and have somehow developed a little game whereby you convince k. to give you everything on his plate once your plate is empty. then you laugh, stuff your face and utter "uuummmmm, ummm!"

















k. you are such a happy little dude, except when you are not - and then you are almost inconsolable. generally though if i scream back, you will burst into laughter and forget what the problem was too begin with. i see the title of class clown in your future. you love to deliver kisses and will hit m. over the head just to have the opportunity to shower him with kisses. you couldnt be happier than to give m. everything on your plate to eat and then slyly steal his milk and polish it off before he knows it was even missing. generally he is too busy talking about how yummy his food is anyway.

k. you are still avoiding the use of language to communicate your needs, wants, desires, etc. you have a stock pile of about 3 words: ma (mom), maa (max), and mi (milk). i know you understand soo much more than you are letting on. i have to remind myself that just like with walking, you will do it on your own schedule. its hard to get mad at you when you are soo busy delivering kisses, giggles and hugs.
















love you both, two by two!

herding cats

i spent the better part of today trying to get pictures done for our christmas card. it was, i imagine, much like what it would be like to herd cats. at all times, one of the three was either screaming, running away, pulling anothers hair, turning away from the camera, closing their eyes, etc. i failed miserably, on multiple occasions. when i posted a status on fb alluding to the difficulty of corralling three children at once, a well intentioned friend and mother of ONE commented, just sing "if you are happy and you know it... -works everytime!" i wish her many successful pictures in the future, but taking a picture of one person is NOTHING like taking a picture of three small and totally irrational people.

here is the progression of the first failure...

see how easy it is with one?














then add a second and suddently the first disappears, and for some reason m. looks drunk...














two outta three ain't bad. i considered using this one with some sort of naughty vs. nice theme...














oops, he's gone...















and so after a snack and the idea to add a chair in which to contain the cats kids, we decided to give it a second shot.

one in the chair, even two smiling, k. still not on board...















this one of the new carpet is a contender...














j. turned on the tv convinced this would keep them sitting...














nice idea, in theory...















well, tomorrow is always a new day. gotta run that is the pharmacy calling about my refill on my prozac.

blogosphere, 12 noon, be there...

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

antigone - you are a wonderful mom and you deserve all of your dreams and those of your children to come true. congratulations - i cant wait to meet perseus!























if you are reading this today, and you are not antigone (hi antigone!), please take a minute and go wish this inspiring woman well. you can find her here.

new house, new rules

somewhere along the line i have allowed myself to become a short order cook at dinnertime. its terrible and sets a bad precedent. i know this. i let everyone know that when we moved into the new house, that i would be making one dinner, those who ate it would be allowed to have dessert, if in fact it was a dessert night. those who chose not to eat it would sadly be hungry. i also told f., my chief picky eater, that he could choose what we eat for dinner two nights a week. so far this plan has been failing miserably. but i will not cave.

last night i had made breaded chicken sandwiches for jon and i, and for the kids, just i cut up the chicken. we also had cheesey potatoes and green beans. as far as i am concerned cut up breaded chicken is essentially chicken nuggets, am i right?! so here is how it went down when the kiddos came to the table.

m&k were strapped into their brand new booster seats and proceeded to sniff their food and push their plates at each other. as if to say, i am not going to eat it, you eat it. this little game ultimately ends in plates being hurled across the room and demands for "sauce." m. did appease me by eating a green bean, which he proceeded to chew on for the remainder of dinner. f. was finding every excuse in the book to not come to the table. finally when he does come to the table he says "oh gross - i am NOT eating this!!" he was then told that it was in fact dessert night and that our wonderful former neighbor had brought us a yummy chocolate and peanut butter pie that looked delicious. but sorry, not dinner, no dessert. now mind you, i am not being a total hard a$$. the rule is you have to try everything on your plate, not clean your plate - pretty sweet deal i think.

so f. proceeds to whine about how disgusting dinner is and what is this stuff on the green beans (salt, pepper and parmesan cheese - i know highly offensive!), etc. finally after having enough of it, j. sends f. to his room. honestly i forget the straw that broke the camels back, because we are having night after night of this drama. in the end f. had to be carried to his room.

ten minutes later, he opens the door and says, "come on, you guys have to give me another chance!" at this point, i had already cleaned up dinner and thrown away the contents on his plate. j. goes up stairs to have a heart to heart with f. a few minutes later j. returns and says the deal is f. is supposed to apologize, thank me for making dinner, eat a green bean and then he may have dessert. so when f. comes down he says to me "thanks mommy for making a delicious dinner!" heartfelt of course, because he didnt taste a single bite of it. so i reply "you are welcome, is there something else you would like to say to me?" and f. says, with a sly little grin, "yes mommy - you are beautiful". and so of course, moments later he was eating dessert.

nearly two and other changes

i know i have said this before, but sometimes i really do still have trouble digesting the fact that i am a mom of twins. compound this with the fact that the will be turning two on saturday. its hard to take it all in. but still on saturday my two boys will be two years old!

***********************************************************

we are slowly settling into the new digs. f. started his new school on monday. i am so proud of him, he is taking all the changes like a real champ. its a lot for a 5 year old to manage. about 30 other kids get on the bus at his stop, which i imagine can be pretty intimidating. granted he did have a nervous belly puke fest the first day of school, but that seems to be behind us.

we have such wonderful new neighbors. we have met everyone on the cul de sac now and have been greeted with wonderful homemade still warm from the oven baked goods, bottles of wine and free pizza coupons, etc. thoughtful and soo appreciated. i really think we made a good choice. now if some of the furniture we ordered would hurry up and arrive i could stop sleeping on a single mattress on the floor like a college student.

grace, as told by a five year old

in the name of the Father and all that. today i am thankful for God, my whole world, my games and my toys. ok, thats all i have, now what?

abundance

a⋅bun⋅dance -noun
1. an extremely plentiful or oversufficient quantity or supply: an abundance of grain.
2. overflowing fullness: abundance of the heart.

this year i have so much for which to be thankful. i am feeling so blessed to have a wonderful husband, three healthy and beautiful children, fantastic parents and a loving sister, and a new to me home. abundance really comes short in describing my blessings and the fullness of my heart.

happy thanksgiving!

at last

its the eve of our big move and i guess i thought i would be feeling a bit more nostalgic. mostly i am just feeling exhausted and excited. finding a house was a long and difficult process and i finally feel like it was worth it.

after we finished signing all the paperwork and writing big fat checks on friday the woman at the title company handed us a peace lily and said congratulations. i wasnt prepared for it, but the tears streamed down my face. thankfully i was able to hide behind the new lily and pull myself together. i think mostly it was the relief that it was done. all the heartbreak we endured along the way kept me from believing it was truly going to happen. but it did, and tomorrow we can finally begin to settle into our dream home. now as i sit here and type in a house with nothing much left but furniture, my laptop, and a 2 liter bottle of lemonade i am mostly just excited. check back with me tomorrow, perhaps i will be feeling a bit more nostalgic then.

obama baby boom?

i just read this article in newsweek - i thought it was cute. it will be interesting to see what happens come august...

reprinted from newsweek.com

Change You Can Conceive In

Could euphoric Obama fans be sparking a baby boom?

The theory is almost too perfect to be true. Barack Obama, the son of politically progressive parents, was born Aug. 4, 1961—almost nine months to the day after John F. Kennedy was elected to the White House. Is it possible Obama was conceived on that historic night?

And if so, could history repeat itself? In the hours and days since Obama's victory, many of his exhilarated supporters have been, shall we say, in the mood for love. And though it's too soon to know for sure, experts aren't ruling out the possibility of an Obama baby boom—the kind of blip in the national birth rate that often follows a seismic event, whether it's scary (a terrorist attack) or celebratory (the end of World War II). "The mood of the country and the optimism about leadership is always somewhat related to birth rates," says Dr. Manny Alvarez, chief of reproductive science at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey. "I'm gearing up for a healthy increase."

Hope and euphoria, says University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz, are a serious aphrodisiac. And voters under 30 went for Obama by a margin of 2 to 1. When you combine those two elements—randy people of child-bearing age—the likely result is what the online Urban Dictionary has already dubbed "Obama Babies" : children "conceived after Obama was proclaimed President, by way of celebratory sex." "If the amount of alcohol, happy people and major functions on election night is any indication, I suspect we'll indeed see a boom," says 25-year-old Brandon Mendelson, a graduate student in Albany, N.Y., who says he changed his vote at the last minute because "I wanted to be able to tell our future children that we voted for Obama."

Anecdotal evidence abounds. "On election night, my husband had managed to down a bottle and a half of wine in celebration and he was all about making an 'Obama election baby'," Abbi Whitaker, 32, of Reno, Nev., told NEWSWEEK. "He thought it would be the coolest thing." In Oakland, jewelry designer Meghan Connolly Haupt, who, with her husband, has been trying for a baby for about eight months, says she "was optimistic when I realized election night coincided with my ovulation time." And in Chicago, where 28-year-old Chip Bouchard—a former Hillary supporter—attended Obama's acceptance speech, he says he looked over at his boyfriend, Chris, and thought: "This [is] the president under whom I [want to] get married and adopt a baby."

Not everyone's experiences were quite as earnest. During one round of election-fueled romance, says Eric Davis, 37, of Minneapolis, "my wife accidentally said, 'Oh, Obama!'" Craigslist boards in various cities swiftly filled with posts from people looking to form impromptu, um, political action committees. "Feel great from Obama win, but now need to expend this positive energy," wrote one 30-year-old Manhattanite. "Obama! Red Wine! Smooching!" promised another. (And from the too-much-information department, sex shop Babeland, which has stores in Seattle, New York and Los Angeles, reports a 26 percent sales increase since Election Day.)

In order for an Obama baby boom to come to fruition, the sex craze will have to last a while. In August of 2007, the last year for which August birth records are available, Americans bore some 390,000 babies. In demographic terms, to achieve even a tiny boom, the number of babies conceived this month will need to exceed that figure. "So the question," says Florida State University demographer Woody Carlson, "is whether or not this catches on. If it's just a moment of excitement and then everybody goes back to being depressed, then we may see a tiny birth spike. But if it continues, then the birth rate next August"—nine months from now—"could be the start of something big." So get busy, folks. One of these kids might just grow up to be president.

capturing time

k. seems to be finally catching on to the idea of using words to communicate. about freakin time bud! granted his repertoire has increased from milk, mama, dada to now also include brows (eyebrows) and ma (max). obviously we have a long way to go, but the fact that we are no longer on the plateau feels great! he still loves to sleep, drink milk and push my buttons. he will always run into the bathroom and open the lid to the potty given the chance. if mommy is not quick enough he will splash in the toilet water too - gross!! f. never had any interest in what was under the potty lid, so this is a new one for us. k. also loves jumping. the look of satisfaction when he gets air is priceless.

m. is a talking machine. it seems like you tell him a word once, and he has it committed to memory. he is finally catching on that all things with 4 legs and fur (and frankly some people with excess body hair) are not called "puppy." it can be a bit awkward when your child calls a person a puppy, so i am thankful about this progress. m. has also seemed to discover that if he can remember to wake up from his nap earlier enough, he can score some highly desireable mommy and m. time. the boys will each have their own room in the new house, so hopefully this will allow k. to sleep when m. decides naptime is over.

f. has really been growing up over these last few weeks. he is excited about the new house and the new school. j. and i had been telling him that all the classrooms in the new school have smart boards. we discovered last week that he has been hearing smart cycle, not smart board. it was a bit of a bummer when he learned that we really meant smart board - after all his media center now already has one of those - code for "boring, mommy!" but he was satified enough when we confirmed that yes in fact the playground that we showed him is still at the new school. i am a bit nervous for him about the transition. hoping that the anxiety issues he tends towards will stay at bay. we have been hearing really great things about the new school and he gets to meet his new teacher next week and see the classroom. he says he wants to ride the bus the first day - so we will see. he is growing up before my eyes.

overheard recently or more evidence for the mother of the year award!

f: mommy, someday you should marry someone that you like at least a little bit.
(i guess the stress of the move is showing a bit too much)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

m: coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee
j: well, at least he isnt saying starbucks
m: starbucks

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

upon arriving to pick f. up from granny and pops after a sleepover

me: hey buddy, i missed you!
f: well, i didnt miss you at all
me: ouch!

prematurity awareness month

1 in 8 babies is born too soon and our nation's preterm birthrate continues to rise. the march of dimes new report card is out and our nation has earned a 'D'.

nearly two years after m & k were born we are still dealing with issues stemming from their premature births. both of our boys still receive developmental therapy on a *weekly* basis. there are soo many families who face even more complex struggles as a result of prematurity. we count our blessings each and every day that we have such healthy boys.

i hope you will take some time today to educate yourself about premature births and sign the petition urging the federal government to increase support for the issue.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Even if you do everything right, you can still have preterm labor. Preterm labor is a serious problem occurring before 37 weeks of pregnancy. This is too early, and your baby could be born too soon. Call your health care provider right away if you have any of these warning signs.

Warning Signs
• Contractions (your abdomen tightens like a fist) every 10 minutes or more often
• Change in vaginal discharge (leaking fluid or bleeding from your vagina)
• Pelvic pressure—the feeling that the baby is pushing down
• Low, dull backache
• Cramps that feel like your period
• Abdominal cramps with or without diarrhea

What Your Health Care Provider Might Tell You
• Come into the office or go to the hospital right away.
• Stop what you were doing.
• Rest on your left side for one hour.
• Drink two to three glasses of water or juice (not coffee or soda).

Take Care of Yourself and Your Baby
• Get regular prenatal checkups.
• Try to avoid stress. Ask family and friends for help.
• Don’t drink alcohol, smoke or take street drugs.
• If you feel burning or pain when you go to the bathroom, you may have an infection. Call your health care provider.

For more information, visit the march of dimes website.

packing it in

we are deep in it right now. i am sitting at my laptop, with not an inch of surface space available anywhere in sight. boxes, papers, remnants of a former household. i find myself beginning more sentences than not with "when we get to the new house..." i am thrilled about this move, and so long as i make it through the next few days we will be good.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i have so many posts swirling around in my brain about the boys right now, but just dont have time. so just a few quick thoughts. k. is starting to "jargon" much more (therapist term for all the babbling that budding talkers do). its a huge relief because he has really hit a plateau and than was starting to teeter backwards a bit. its nice to see a SLOW amount of forward progress. m. on the total other opposite of the spectrum is celebrating language. he just loves to talk. banana is his new favorite word and he runs around practicing it all day long. baaaaaaanana. banaaaaaana. bannnnnnnana. who knew saying banana could be so fun?! however, i am starting to lose sleep as my brain just resonates "banana" for about an hour straight before it will unwind and let me finally fall asleep each night. f. is finally on board with the move. i think the fact that we will be backing to a golf course in the new house has sort of sealed the deal for him. he cant wait.

so as we narrow in on our closing date, quickly followed by our moving date, and thanksgiving and a very special duo second birthday we continue to pack it in.

yes we can

change is good. i am feeling so hopeful. americans came out in record numbers to stand up for the change that we need as a nation. one nation. as i sat and watched the concession speech of mccain, which by the way i thought was very gracious, i knew that i was living history. and as i tuned into obama's victory speech i had tears streaming down my face. i am feeling so hopeful. hopeful that we can work together as brothers and sisters and a people of *one* nation. let us set our differences aside and bring america back to what it should be.

get out there and vote today!!!

today it is so important for all of you to do your civic duty. since we went to war in iraq over 4000 american men and women have lost their lives fighting for our rights and freedoms. over 30,000 americans have been wounded. these young men and women are out there making difficult choices each day defending our freedom. its up to you to make a choice today, make the right choice today, get out there and vote!

this mama just voted for OBAMA!!

tuned out

its been a busy few weeks here. our house finally sold! yay! we finally agreed on a number one house! yay! we have closing dates, moving dates, packing, etc all in the works. we will be in our new home by thanksgiving. all that being said, my brain is on overload. this morning during the routine of getting breakfast ready, etc. i had confiscated the remotes from the little people and was trying to figure out how to un-order some pay per view program. f. was deciding what to have for breakfast - a process which can go on for a *very* long time. i guess i had tuned out, because when i finally looked over at him (a mere 4 feet away) he was holding the receiving end of the baby monitor yelling into it, "MOMMY. DO. YOU. READ. ME?"

in my defense, coffee had not yet been ingested.

get out and vote on tuesday

no words

http://www.stevietphotography.com/

this week i...

...looked at about 12 houses in person and 8 gagillion online
...ratified a contract on our house
...put an offer on a new house
...signed my name about 8 gagillion times and initialed at least as many times
...forgot my husband's birthday
...arrived 55 minutes late for a dentist appointment, thinking i was 5 minutes early
...shopped in the new sur la table
...spent 4 hours in a small conference room with a realtor, a husband and two toddlers
...actually took a nap and was not awakened by small screaming people
...mentally rearranged furniture in what i hope becomes my new house about 8 gagillion times
...had three bowls of soup and rediscovered my love of autumn
...took 4 over the counter medications and 2 prescriptions trying to get rid of this f*cking cough
...talked to verizon on the phone countless times trying to resolve our phone issue
...didn't have time for a real post.

i'm sort of amazed

the in-laws just left after a brief visit to celebrate j.'s birthday. i dont think i rolled my eyes once during the visit. its sad, but i think one heart attack (fil) and a continued battle with stage 4 ovarian cancer (mil), have made them take stock of the important things in life.

they got into town, at my invitation, late yesterday afternoon to enjoy a surprise night out just for the grown-ups. my mom was gracious enough to watch the boys, so j. and i could have a civilized dinner with the in-laws. and they didnt even drone on and on about politics which, given the close proximity to an historic election, is a small miracle in and of itself. we had a fantastic dinner after which we returned his parents to their hotel (which is probably due some credit for the success of the visit).

this morning the in-laws returned to our house to visit with the boys. and for the first time ever, they actually got on the floor and played with the boys. and the most wonderful part is that they genuinely seemed to be enjoying themselves! who knew? whatever alternate universe is responsible for this gift on j.'s birthday, please accept my undying gratitude. its about time!

pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day

october 15th is pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day. at 7pm tonight there will be a wave of light to commemorate the day.

when m. and k. were in the nicu i developed sort of a routine. i would get up in the morning, after a night of fitful sleep and pumping every 3 hours all night long, exhausted. exhausted! i would ready f. for the school day and we would get in the car with my mom (before i was released to drive). my mom would drop me at the hospital before taking f. to school for me. i would go into the restroom alone and bawl my eyes out for a good 15 minutes. each. and. every. time. i needed that release and needed to steel myself for whatever faced me beyond those locked doors of the nicu. so many things go on behind those doors. babies fight for their lives each and every moment. crossover the threshold and it is not long before you hear an alarm going off indicating that fight and in some cases the end of a long and tortured battle. i remind myself often how lucky we were to go home with two live babies. so many mothers are not that lucky. tonight at 7pm i will be honoring them and their lost angels.

in case you are checking

i havent been to tar.get since sunday! and the last time i had buffalo and bleu cheese dip was saturday! progress, i know.

oh, if you become VP

this is a goodie too...

the first step is admitting the problem, right?

it started out innocently enough. i was on the school bus headed to a field trip, f.'s field trip last week. we were headed down riva road, when i overheard a chaperone an enabler say, does that sign say "now open"?! i looked over my shoulder and it was as if the clouds parted. sure enough, the sign on the brand new tar.get in annapolis read "now open". soon enough the bus was in a tizzy, "it wasnt supposed to open until sunday!" someone yelled. "i know, i marked my calender" another chimed in. ok, so maybe those were just the voices in my own head.

wednesday after the bus returned the children and chaperones back to school i got in my own car and went directly to tar.get. i just had to see if the sign was right. honestly, i didnt even buy anything. on that trip. thursday night i went back, and bought supplies for our weekend visitors. donuts and juice boxes for the kids, buffalo and bleu cheese dip for the grownups. and while we are on the subject of addiction - be aware - buffalo and bleu cheese dip is undoubtedly categorized as some type of gateway drug! friday morning we went back to procure supplies for the visiting children to wear for pictures later that day and star.bucks for the grownups (so they too could survive pictures that day). in fairness, the star.bucks is located conveniently right inside of the new tar.get. friday night we went back because after all, it had been opened for at least 3 days and j. had not yet seen the inside. more supplies were procured. saturday i tried hard to go cold turkey. instead i sent j. - more buffalo and blue cheese dip was required. no one can remember what happened to the first container. i think we all blacked out! today was going to be a quiet day. we were just going to change the wardrobe seasons for the boys. wait, we need some storage boxes to stash away all the summer clothes. back i went to tar.get - supplies were procured.

hi, my name is n., and i am a targaholic. the first step is admitting the problem, right?

Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act.

I support H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act and you should too! take a few extra minutes to read this post and then get in gear and take action.

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.

Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.

Action Steps:

Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others
-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.

GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others
-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.

GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act
-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."

ALSO

if you have been reading this for any length of time, you know that m. and k., were born very early. (you can go back in my archives and read all about it) despite the drs. best efforts to keep me flat on my back, connected 24X7 to contraction halting medication, daily x3 fetal monitoring, etc.; m. and k. still joined us a full 9 weeks before their due date. i would not wish the 5 weeks i spent alone in the hospital on anyone. nor would i wish the 40 days total i spent in the NICU praying for the health and safety of my 3 and 4 lb babies. no mother should be put in that position. it is a horrible place to be, one that nearly two years later can still reduce me to a pile of streaming tears. however, all this being said - there are many moms who have it much worse. they walk out the hospital doors without their child safely tucked into a carseat. some moms despite their best efforts and those of their drs. walk out those doors empty handed. more infants in the US die today because of prematurity, more than any other cause. if any number of things during the course of those 4 months in 2006-07 had gone differently, i could very easily have been one of those moms walking out empty handed. i remind myself just how lucky i am almost every day. i urge you to take a minute and follow these links to help moms:

the march of dimes is urging the federal government to support prematurity related research:
click here to support this effort

thanks!

weekend wrap up

we had a great weekend. we spent yesterday in the fields picking pumpkins and apples and going on 3, yes 3, hayrides! m. is crazy, i mean absolutely crazy, about hayrides. every time i put him down or let go of his hand he went running for the hayride. we could not get the kid off it. what we thought would be a quick stop turned into spending the afternoon there. we had lunch first in the little restaurant at baughers, which has been around since forever. and i think they only raised the prices once since they opened because it was so inexpensive. then we headed over to the orchard and spent the next 3 hours playing with pumpkins and apples and hay. f. also enjoyed their gigantic pumpkin shaped moon bounce. on the way home we stopped by granny and pop's for a quick visit and quickly went about dismantling their living room. the boys are really into everything these days.

today we took the kids to oktoberfest in west annapolis. the elementary school there always puts on a fun carnival with age appropriate games and fun prizes, which f. loves. we ran into a bunch of old friends, which is always nice. and the oompah band is always a hit. m. was dancing along in his stroller. it was a gorgeous day, but way too busy to let the little guys roam free at this jam-packed event. j. and i had oyster shooters and the yummy german potato salad - yum, yum! the real beauty was that while we were out we had a showing, which for once totally fit into our schedule. the only thing that could have made the weekend better would have been an actual offer on the house.

dear prospective buyer

dear prospective buyer,

i am glad that you find my house to be lovely and that it meets all of your needs. but you may not take immediate occupancy and have your "people" wire my "people" the money from your account in venezuala. best of luck to you.

take care,
home owner

dream house

j. and i have been at this for awhile. we have been held up here and here. oh and dont forget here. right and here too. you get the picture. at the end of last week we decided to lower our new lower price some more- apparantly that was warranted because we have practically had non-stop showings ever since. nothing like taking up a second residence at the mall because you have to kill a few hours at least once a day. this afternoon the guy at star.bucks asked "didnt you just order that this morning?" something is amiss - guess i need to start circulating to the other one in the mall.

trouble is j. and i dont agree on what THE dream house is. we have a collective short list of 3-4 houses. my #1 is his #4 and vice versa. not sure if this means we havent found the dream house yet. talk amongst yourselves.

pale in comparison

a great friend of ours is in a band in upstate new york, and here is a new song they are singing. lyrics below in case you have a hard time hearing over the raucous laughter. as i said to my mom over the weekend, i think i will get some tees made for the boys that say "my mama is voting for obama"



Ode to Sarah Palin
The El Caminos
Lyrics by Chuck Donovan
Music by El Caminos, with apologies to Robert Earl Keen (See “Copenhagen” for the reason)


When I think of what I want out of my Vice President,
A pit bull wearing lipstick would sure be heaven sent
Especially if she’s from somewhere I can send a drill
If Hillary won’t do it, you know that Sarah will!

Sarah Palin, she comes from Alaska
Sarah Palin, she sure has a pretty smile
Sarah Palin, was caused McCain to ask ya
Sarah Palin, is he really that senile?

Then I watched her speak at that big ol convention
And I had some thoughts that frankly were too dark for me to mention
As she spit her hate and bile all over my tv
I can’t believe that she was Miss Congeniality!

Sarah Palin, was mayor of her home city
Sarah Palin, where they cook that crystal meth
Sarah Palin, but don’t you think she pretty? Vote for
Sarah Palin, something that rhymes with crystal meth! (OR “ain’t no VPILF”!)

Since that night I haven’t seen Sarah anywhere
On the Sunday morning talk shows there was no hide nor hair
Just GOP good ol boys talking loud and big
About how wrong Obama is for calling her a pig

Sarah Palin, if the shoe fits wear it
Sarah Palin, thought that wasn’t what he meant
Sarah Palin, if you actually can’t bear it
Sarah Palin, how can you be Vice President?


So on that November morning when you go to make your choice,
Remember that no matter what she says in that sweet voice
Makes up for the policies to which Sarah adheres
Let’s keep her out of Washington for the next eight years

Sarah Palin, why didn’t they vet her?
Sarah Palin, just wanted to remind you bout that crystal meth
Sarah Palin, even Romney would be better than
Sarah Palin, I really think it’s time she left!


Repeat choruses as desired, creating rhymes on the fly if you feel the need…

love ya chuck!!

a glimpse into the teenage years

sunday f. and i ran out to go to the library. he loves to read and always says yes to a trip to the library. i should have checked the hours before we left the house, but didnt, so we arrived 45 minutes before the library opened. so we re-evaluated and decided to run to the grocery store first and the library second. on the way to the grocery store we were stopped at a traffic light for a fire engine to go speeding by sirens blasting. embarrassing as i now know that this obviously is, i dared to mention to my 5 year old that a "cool fire engine" was passing by. his response went something like this. "i already saw the fire engine mommy, geez. you know, i am not 3 any more, i am 5! what are you ridiculous?!" oh boy, am i in for some fun come the teenage years!

overheard in my house recently

as the vocabulary of m. explodes, we are deciphering new words and phrases daily. lately he has begun to chant "myme, myme, myme, myme!" i have recently discovered that this means "mine!" and also "give me whatever food/drink that is you have!"

m.: myme, myme, myme, myme!!!
f.: what m.?
m.: myme, myme, myme, myme!!
f.: look m. - i am not your mommy!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

on the way out the door to school one morning. apparantly i can be particularly charming before my coffee!

me: f. you are supposed to have your shoes on, lets go your brothers are waiting for us in the car.
f.: come on, i didnt know i was supposed to have my shoes on
me: well, did you think you were going to school without shoes?
me: lets go, close the door behind you. what do you think you live in a barn?
f: what do you live in a house with the rest of the witches?

capturing time

we are fully into the swing of fall, sadly leaving summer behind. there is nothing like snotty, drippy noses to remind you that fall is upon us. if only mother nature would agree and allow us to turn off the ac for more than one day at a time! anyway, continuing with the idea of being able to remember some of the cute antics going on, here is another installment of capturing time.

f. you have become such a big boy. i look at you these days and wonder what happened to the cute little snuggle bug of days gone by. you launch yourself off of steps, beds, couches, etc routinely. you have taken to saying the phrase "come on" incessantly. we are not sure where it came from, but you utter it at least 5 times before 8am daily and then another 546 times before your head hits the pillow again each night! as in "come on, i just told you i wanted milk!" or "come on when will dinner be ready!" and "come on i dont know where my sneakers are!" one day last week, i was sitting right here shamelessly reading perez hilton catching up on my reading at 11:30PM when i heard you coughing. nothing too odd about that, except i thought i heard it coming from downstairs. given that it was a good 4 hours past your bedtime, i was shocked when moments later you emerged from the basement to inform me that you only got to watch half of batman because the satellite went out. first and foremost, i should probably be embarrassed that at the age of 5 you utter the phrase "the satellite went out" with the same disdain that a grown man might while watching the final minutes of the super bowl. secondly, what the hell are you doing watching cartoons in the middle of the night? if i were to believe you, this was not the first time! oh wait a minute, thats the mother of the year committee calling to inform me of my nomination. brb. the good news though is that you are still young enough that when i tell you i need to snuggle, you mostly still come running!

k. you have become a monster lately. you walk around with at least one arm cocked ready to hit anyone in a 3 foot radius. what is up with this dude? poor m. is clearly taking the brunt of it. just when i am at my wits end with you, you will casually walk up and land a huge kiss square on the bookshelves in the kitchen or the picture of the camel in your ABC book. somewhere our signals are getting crossed - love your family - not the bookshelves and please not the camel! you are starting to sprinkle in a word every now and then just for good measure. and you love music. now when we sing the "clean up" song, you will stand there belting it out (replacing each word with "BLAH") while the rest of us actually go about cleaning up. you would much rather drink your milk (as well as your brothers) than actually waste time eating food. apparantly food is for throwing on the floor or putting inside of toys or somedays both. you are still a silly little kiddo and you keep a smile on my face and warmth in my heart.

m. you are currently covered in road rash from your forehead, clear down to your upper lip. the joke around here is that you have two speeds : asleep and running full force. the later often results in boo-boos. you are just living life to the fullest. last week daddy and i took you and k. to the park and you just ran around like a maniac trying everything out. daddy climbed up a high ladder with you so you could ride down the big kids twirly slide and that was it. you spent the rest of the time screaming "UP GAN UP GAN GAN UP UP" (up again). daddy would lift you up again and you would run to the slide and launch yourself down, already starting to scream "GAN UP" before your feet hit the ground. i am pretty sure you will sport at least one cast in your childhood. i love that you still run to me first when something has you down or k. is beating the crap out of you. and secretly i am glad that after k. beats you up that you are finally starting to push back a bit when he comes near you again!

love you boys!

oh monday

dear monday,

i know you historically have a bad rep. musicians have sung about about it, school children have complained about you, even the federal govt. likes to avoid you by conveniently "observing" most holidays squarely on you. as a mom of a school aged child, i came to appreciate mondays, as the day when my charges are decreased by one for a few hours. today however - not the case!

monday, tell me, why did you wake up my oldest at the ungodly hour of 3:23am? don't you know that it is no fun being awakened by a five year old who needs to sleep in your bed because his is wet. you try reasoning with a five year old at this hour and explaining that he needs new pj's because they are not *just* cold, but are in fact wet too! you try telling him that he can sleep on your floor, but not in your bed. you try convincing him, as a last resort, that he can sleep on the couch in the family room, only to be awakened 5 minutes later as a clock is thrust in your face because it is keeping him awake. you try cleaning up his puke just mere hours later and not resenting that your hour a day of me time is quickly being rescheduled for later in the week. you try settling him back in for a nap only to have him wake up two hours later professing that he feels great and is now ready to go to school. try all this on for size. i dare you monday - give it a try!

signed,
no longer a fan

girl power

this girls weekend could not have come at a better time for me. admittedly, i have been in a funk, rut, whatever you want to call it. friday morning j. called me from work to tell me that i should look into the tropical storm headed our way. he elaborated that they were talking about closing down the bay bridge for extended periods of time on the very day i needed to use it to get me to said girls weekend. i hung up the phone and immediately sent out an SOS email. "girls, we need to get out of town before they close the bridge." after about 16 phone calls, hanging up on at least as many people while i tried to answer call waiting we had it all worked out. (when exactly did i become so technilogically enept?!?) the five of us could all leave in mere hours, the night before our scheduled departure, after our 15 children were safely tucked in bed - yes i said 15! we didnt care that our arrival time would be 11:30 or so - hours after we would all normally pass out from a day jam packed with multiples activities. we were going come hell or high water. and boy did the high water come!!

we arrived in dewey a little before midnight, poured ourselves a drink, slapped on some makeup and headed out for a night on the town. we joked that we had not left the house at midnight in a very long time, especially when the intended destination was someplace other than nighttime pediatrics or the ER. we crammed ourselves into one of the two hotspots in town and danced our butts off until last call - then we danced some more until they turned the dreaded lights on! the next day was basically rinse and repeat! heavy on the rinse!

it was a fantastic weekend, with some amazing women! if only the restorative powers of a hotel room packed full of estrogen could somehow be bottled. thanks girls - you rock!

dear asshat

dear asshat,

all i have to say to you, the asshat that stole my wallet, is that i hope you enjoy being questioned by the police!! when you have to resort to using my library card to make a buck or whatever it is you are doing on this little shopping spree of yours i think you have reached a new low. library card - really?? i am shocked that you even know where the library is located!! i can relate to the late night munchies and drive thru choice of wendy's - i mean those burgers are fresh, never frozen. i can even appreciate the filling up your gas tank at royal farms - i mean gas prices are outrageous these days. heck, even i am jealous about the no spending limit trip through super.walmart. but the library - really??

guess what asshat, people who work in libraries are generally upstanding citizens and tend to take note when a tattoocovereddreadlockwearing freak such as yourself presents themselves with a huge fricken stack of things to check out and then cant provide any id to go along with the libary card. guess what - i beat you to the library and already asked them to put a hold on my card. you see asshat, people who work in libraries also tend to be very detail oriented and are used to doing research and taking notes and sometimes have a photographic memory. lets just say that every tattoo that was visible on your grimy body has now been noted in great detail. now we have a witness to the fact that you are presenting yourself as someone you are not. library card - really? i hope it was worth it! and by the way, since you spent more than $500 of mine, we are no longer talking petty crime - we are talking felony. i do hope you enjoy the visit from the police. somehow i suspect it wont be your first or last visit from them.

sleep tight asshat!

love,
you me

this time last year

every once and awhile i like to take a look back at where i found myself this time last year. having this blog, makes it especially easy. some days my life feels full of drama and i am just longing for simple, more calm days. i know thats probably not feasible given all that is going on. but when i look at this time last year, i realize the boys were just learning to hold their heads up and we were just preparing for the vacation from hell. it seems crazy given that they are walking and running everywhere these days. f. was just taking his first bus ride last year, and now he seems like an old pro at it. i dont really know how we got here from there.

i have been feeling disjointed somehow lately. these last two weeks i have been ignoring the banging at my door, i refuse to let him in - that ugly ugly monster, known as depression. i keep chalking it up to things like my cycle or the fact that my identity was ripped off. enough already - leave me alone. no one is home! i know i am going to have to face it head on sooner or later and really do something about it. for now though i just find myself saying "la, la, la, i cant hear you - cant you see the no soliciting sign" as if that is going to make a difference.

its girl weekend this saturday - we are going to the beach - the perfect place to stick my head in the sand - no?!

the one in which i dont get the Wii, but someone using my atm card does...

this morning i woke up excited at the prospect of looking at new houses. our house is officially on the market, and since the market sucks there is alot more in our price range now. things we couldnt have afforded this time last year are suddenly affordable. yay us! i was feeling pretty good. we got out of bed and readied the house for the cleaning ladies and were about to head out the door when the phone rang.

a quick peak at the caller id let me know it was my bank - hmm thats strange at 8:30am i thought. the call went something like this:

bank: hello, is mrs. so and so there?
me: this is mrs. so and so
bank: i am calling from the fraud department from your bank about some suspicious activity on your atm card.
me: umm (mind racing trying to remember where my wallet was)
me: gulp (swallowing a mouth full of vomit as i realize i tucked it away for safe keeping in my glove compartment last night before we walked into the store to pick up a gagillion things at a local warehouse club)
bank: specifically i am wondering if we should authorize a payment to SuperWal.Mart in the amount of $253.96?
me: umm, no - you shouldnt authorize that.
bank: would you like us to cancel your atm card and issue you a new one
me: yes

the whole time in the background j. is saying - where is your wallet? i will grab it for you. umm, hello - my wallet was stolen. to which j. replies, did you leave it in the car? the glove compartment was open this morning. um yes, i say, did you leave the car unlocked last night? yes he replies. ugh!!

so about 1503 calls later (the first one to the realtor to postpone our parade of homes today) all my credit cards are cancelled along with my cell phone, drivers license, warehouse club cards, hospital volunteer badge, library cards for f. and i, health insurance cards for me and the boys, etc. the good news is that i only had to scream "speak to a live person" into the stupid phone tree thingies about 3254 times.

so with police report number in hand it occurs to me, hmm, thats about how much i was saving to spend on a Wii this fall - hope the asshats are enjoying my new Wii. i really do hope that they enjoyed the slushy at Royal F.arms along with a full tank of gas. i also hope the mf'ers get caught using my cards and enjoy three squares a day in our local lock up.

no words

resurfacing

tomorrow is a big day around here. f. starts kindergarten! and our house goes on the market *again*. i am not sure why, but i am finding myself very teary about the prospect of sending him off to kindergarten. for weeks now i have been counting down the day - but here on the eve of his first day i find myself a mess. its not as though this is his first trip away from the nest. he has been going to preschool for 3 years now - but somehow, for some reason, kindergarten feels different. its like he is all grown up.

we went to meet his teacher together today and she seems very nice. i am sure he will have a lot of fun and make some great friends. his school added an additional kindergarten class at the very last minute, so his class size is only 17 - which should be great. today, i was just there to answer some essential questions and place check marks in the appropriate boxes. f. was there to get used to the classroom and answer a few pointed questions from his teacher. at one point they were doing some math, and he informed the teacher that 6 + 6 = 9. she corrected him and said, actually 6 + 6 = 12. to which he responds, "oh, well thats not what my mommy thinks. she told me that 6 + 6 = 9!" great, just great. admittedly my math skills suck, but i generally have the addition questions down pat.

as far as the house thing goes. i was feeling pretty excited about it. we hired a new agent, set a new price and did some last minute sprucing up over the weekend. i think the house looks great and hopefully it will sell in a hurry. we are going to start looking at houses ourselves again on friday. i am hoping that even though just now when i went to check on "the house" on the top of my dream house list and discovered that it went under contract today that this time it won't be as painful as last time. wish me luck.

well, at least it's still the same season

f's bday candle pic this year, only 2 months late...

another thing to add to my resume

f: mommy, you make the best toast in the whole world!
me: i am glad you like it.
f: you know what mommy?
me: what f.?
f: i think you should take your allowance and use it to buy your own tv show. that way you can show everyone how you make the best toast in the whole world.
me: hmm

no words

for good luck

while playing volleyball with his father

j.: f., do you have to go to the potty?
f: no, i dont have to go
me: f., just go use the potty then you can finish the game
f: i dont have to go
me: then how come you keep grabbing yourself?
f: i am just squeezing it each time for good luck. my turn to serve.

enlighten me please

can someone please tell me what is so exciting about dumping a bowl full of mandarin oranges on the floor and then proceeding to smear them all over the floor and eat the bits that remain?!?!?!?

this is what i get for taking the kids to the zoo!

sharing

could we be represented by any more of an idiot?

overheard in my car recently

f: i'm first, i'm first, i'm first! i just want everyone to know that i was first in the car, even though i had to help you and wait until k. was buckled in, i was still first!
f: i just want you to know - i was first!
me: f. sweetie, not everything has to be a competition, ok?
f: i know that
me: do you understand? it is ok to not always be first.
f: yes i understand that.

a millisecond of time passes

f: just so you know, i am going to be the first one in the pool at e's house today

the countdown

i remember thinking it was pretty funny the first time i saw that commercial that has the christmas music in it talking about back-to-school. i didn't have children then. now that i have a school aged child, i can truly appreciate that commercial for its pure and absolute genius. with camp behind us and not much else to look forward to this summer, boredom struck our house hard this morning. the whining, complaining, and moaning trifecta could no doubt be heard for miles - my ears are still ringing. "i have such a hard life", "my life is horrible", "mommy please will you play something with me, ANYTHING", "mommy, keep your eye on the ball - i kicked it to you like a google years ago" "i cant teach my brothers a new game, they only learn the bad things that i do, never the good things" and all this was before 9am!! so at about 10:05am when i had reached my breaking point, i loaded everyone into the car and a plan formulated as we backed out of the driveway.

people the countdown is on. only 17 more days until school starts!!!

capturing time

the days seem to get away from me, and i hardly get a chance to record some of the tiny things that i want to remember for years to come. and since there is nothing filled in on f.'s baby book beyond his first bath and m. and k. dont even own baby books, its time to do something about it. i am going to start a new thing here of just randomly recording some of the things that my children are doing for prosperity as they say.

f. has started to use eeny, meeny, miny, moe to decide all manner of things from which folder to choose for his back to school supplies to what he will have to drink. it is funny how these traditional rhymes carry on over time. i dont know why, but i get a little teary eyed when i hear him doing things like that. he is growing up - that one! he is gearing up for kindergarten and is very excited about it.

k. has not yet learned how to give kisses. however, when i request one he will gladly send a raspberry my way - a big, messy, juicy, raspberry each and every time i ask for a kiss.

m. on the other hand is full of kisses. he has been walking around all day doling them out and alternatively practicing his animal sounds. so all day long we have been hearing meow, kiss, kiss, bark, bark, kiss moo, kiss, kiss and a fish sound that his therapist taught him of course followed by kiss, kiss. his vocabulary is expanding by the hour.

you got me there

me: did you hear about the family with five children that left one behind in an airport? a three year old?
j.: you mean the ones who flew to paris?
me: yup, them! apparently they didnt realize until the airline staff told them 45 minutes into the flight.
j: at least i only leave luggage behind
me: well, i guess you got me there!

so far so good

it has been a wonderful trip so far. as i write, the lil boys are settling into their pack-n-plays for the night. f. and j. are across the street fishing with f.'s new pirates of the carribean fishing pole. we spent most of today on the beach, which was largely deserted, like our own private beach. f. was like a fish, in the water the whole time! in fact, last night when we went to check out the location of the beach, f. jumped in the water clothes on and went for a swim. hey, its his vacation too!

here are a few pics to capture our trip so far...















only on the eastern shore would you find the us post office, within the confines of the tastee freez (click on the image to see it larger)

lets try this again

well, i am weary to even type it here, but we have planned another vacation. in the past, we have not had such wonderful luck when it comes to vacating annapolis. but we are going to keep trying until we get it right! saturday morning, we are headed to the quaint little beach town of onancock, va; where we have rented a house without an elevator. whats more, we don't plan to put any cargo carriers on the top of our minivan. fingers crossed, everyone is relatively healthy (with the exception of my back - which is again giving me a hassle). i am happy to still have some old c-section meds on hand and hope that by not lifting any of my angels for the next 24 hours i will be back in order to again stand upright without channeling joan cusack in sixteen candles. wish us luck - i have a feeling we might just need it!

passing them along

growing up i knew summer was coming to an end when we returned home from our week "downey oshin". i would spend the drive home in the back seat pouring over the back to school issue of "teen" magazine. when we got back to catonsville the temperature would have started to let up, and the humidity somehow wouldn't seem as bad as before we left for the vacation. there was only one thing left to do before school would start - go peach picking! my mom and a few of her close girlfriends would load their kids into the car and we would head up interstate 83 to a pick-your-own place near ms. pat's childhood house. it was a definite marker that summer was coming to a close. ms. pat would show us how to split a peach in half and eat it right there in the orchard, juice running down your arms. there was nothing as sweet as that! i have fond memories of those days spent in the orchard, filling bushel baskets full to the top of sweet, juicy, end of summer peaches. we would head back to the farmhouse and play with the animals including the beautiful husky they owned while the mom's would "put up" the peaches. like well honed machines, they would sit around the table, paring knives in hand and fill metal bowls with the sliced and peeled chunks of the days bounty. i can picture it now, like it was just yesterday. i hope that when my children get older they will recall memories like this and want to share them with their own children.

today, j. and i took the m. & k. peach picking on the eastern shore (f. was at camp - his last week). although, i dont remember eating peaches right out of the dirt as a child, it is ok with me that my boys are making their own memories. i just hope they had fun - i sure did!