dear asshat

dear asshat,

all i have to say to you, the asshat that stole my wallet, is that i hope you enjoy being questioned by the police!! when you have to resort to using my library card to make a buck or whatever it is you are doing on this little shopping spree of yours i think you have reached a new low. library card - really?? i am shocked that you even know where the library is located!! i can relate to the late night munchies and drive thru choice of wendy's - i mean those burgers are fresh, never frozen. i can even appreciate the filling up your gas tank at royal farms - i mean gas prices are outrageous these days. heck, even i am jealous about the no spending limit trip through super.walmart. but the library - really??

guess what asshat, people who work in libraries are generally upstanding citizens and tend to take note when a tattoocovereddreadlockwearing freak such as yourself presents themselves with a huge fricken stack of things to check out and then cant provide any id to go along with the libary card. guess what - i beat you to the library and already asked them to put a hold on my card. you see asshat, people who work in libraries also tend to be very detail oriented and are used to doing research and taking notes and sometimes have a photographic memory. lets just say that every tattoo that was visible on your grimy body has now been noted in great detail. now we have a witness to the fact that you are presenting yourself as someone you are not. library card - really? i hope it was worth it! and by the way, since you spent more than $500 of mine, we are no longer talking petty crime - we are talking felony. i do hope you enjoy the visit from the police. somehow i suspect it wont be your first or last visit from them.

sleep tight asshat!

love,
you me