Thursday, July 31, 2008
lets try this again
well, i am weary to even type it here, but we have planned another vacation. in the past, we have not had such wonderful luck when it comes to vacating annapolis. but we are going to keep trying until we get it right! saturday morning, we are headed to the quaint little beach town of onancock, va; where we have rented a house without an elevator. whats more, we don't plan to put any cargo carriers on the top of our minivan. fingers crossed, everyone is relatively healthy (with the exception of my back - which is again giving me a hassle). i am happy to still have some old c-section meds on hand and hope that by not lifting any of my angels for the next 24 hours i will be back in order to again stand upright without channeling joan cusack in sixteen candles. wish us luck - i have a feeling we might just need it!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
passing them along
growing up i knew summer was coming to an end when we returned home from our week "downey oshin". i would spend the drive home in the back seat pouring over the back to school issue of "teen" magazine. when we got back to catonsville the temperature would have started to let up, and the humidity somehow wouldn't seem as bad as before we left for the vacation. there was only one thing left to do before school would start - go peach picking! my mom and a few of her close girlfriends would load their kids into the car and we would head up interstate 83 to a pick-your-own place near ms. pat's childhood house. it was a definite marker that summer was coming to a close. ms. pat would show us how to split a peach in half and eat it right there in the orchard, juice running down your arms. there was nothing as sweet as that! i have fond memories of those days spent in the orchard, filling bushel baskets full to the top of sweet, juicy, end of summer peaches. we would head back to the farmhouse and play with the animals including the beautiful husky they owned while the mom's would "put up" the peaches. like well honed machines, they would sit around the table, paring knives in hand and fill metal bowls with the sliced and peeled chunks of the days bounty. i can picture it now, like it was just yesterday. i hope that when my children get older they will recall memories like this and want to share them with their own children.
today, j. and i took the m. & k. peach picking on the eastern shore (f. was at camp - his last week). although, i dont remember eating peaches right out of the dirt as a child, it is ok with me that my boys are making their own memories. i just hope they had fun - i sure did!
today, j. and i took the m. & k. peach picking on the eastern shore (f. was at camp - his last week). although, i dont remember eating peaches right out of the dirt as a child, it is ok with me that my boys are making their own memories. i just hope they had fun - i sure did!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
m. is clearly missing his first love
when weeks had passed and it seemed like my children were ginormous compared to their suite-mates in the nicu i began hearing things like "he is too big to still be here" or "you are still here?" then k. decided to kick the nicu like a bad habit. we cranked up the heat to 85 degrees in our house and lived in a giant incubator for fear we would end up back in the hospital for low temperature issues.
but m. was stubborn, he couldn't kick the habit. we later learned that it was because he had a love affair going on with one of the amazing nicu nurses. she would visit him first thing each shift to talk to him and take him to rounds and just snuggle him. once i got wind of this affair, i had a little talk with m. told him i didnt approve of "that hussy" and that it was time to join his family at home.
lately it seems like he is conjuring memories of his long lost love and is trying anything and everything to land himself back in the hospital. today, for the second time in as many weeks - he split his bottom lip wide open. and boy was it bloody - the kind that makes you vomit a little in your mouth when you see the spurt of blood land on your own shirt, but then you swallow and forget all about that because its your little baby standing in front of you spewing blood out of his lip and screaming his head off. i am fairly certain if i could have translated the shrieks it would have been something like, "please mama, i love her, i just want to see her one more time!!"
but m. was stubborn, he couldn't kick the habit. we later learned that it was because he had a love affair going on with one of the amazing nicu nurses. she would visit him first thing each shift to talk to him and take him to rounds and just snuggle him. once i got wind of this affair, i had a little talk with m. told him i didnt approve of "that hussy" and that it was time to join his family at home.
lately it seems like he is conjuring memories of his long lost love and is trying anything and everything to land himself back in the hospital. today, for the second time in as many weeks - he split his bottom lip wide open. and boy was it bloody - the kind that makes you vomit a little in your mouth when you see the spurt of blood land on your own shirt, but then you swallow and forget all about that because its your little baby standing in front of you spewing blood out of his lip and screaming his head off. i am fairly certain if i could have translated the shrieks it would have been something like, "please mama, i love her, i just want to see her one more time!!"
Thursday, July 24, 2008
controlled chaos
yesterday the masses descended and it was controlled chaos.
all day long i am at home with children, always outnumbered. yesterday, m & k had some friends over to play and for dinner. even though 5 adults (and one mothers helper) were in attendance, we were really outnumbered with 11 children. two siblings did not make it because of prior engagements - so it would have been 13 kids. i was a little stressed yesterday wondering what i was getting myself into. but i think it worked out great - controlled chaos sort of describes it to a T. the kids played their little hearts out in the heat and humidity, then we came inside for a little indoor picnic - which was surprisingly tame. see for yourself...
j. came home from work and i think he expected to see kids swinging from ceiling fans and spilling out into the street. this was not the case - everyone was happily eating what was on their neighbors plate! however, j. is now convinced that our house is big enough to contain our own children. i have informed him that he is sadly mistaken and we will be putting our house back on the market come fall. i hope to be ringing the new year in under a new roof!
all day long i am at home with children, always outnumbered. yesterday, m & k had some friends over to play and for dinner. even though 5 adults (and one mothers helper) were in attendance, we were really outnumbered with 11 children. two siblings did not make it because of prior engagements - so it would have been 13 kids. i was a little stressed yesterday wondering what i was getting myself into. but i think it worked out great - controlled chaos sort of describes it to a T. the kids played their little hearts out in the heat and humidity, then we came inside for a little indoor picnic - which was surprisingly tame. see for yourself...
j. came home from work and i think he expected to see kids swinging from ceiling fans and spilling out into the street. this was not the case - everyone was happily eating what was on their neighbors plate! however, j. is now convinced that our house is big enough to contain our own children. i have informed him that he is sadly mistaken and we will be putting our house back on the market come fall. i hope to be ringing the new year in under a new roof!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
another first
motherhood is soo much fun - today i made my first call to poison control!
m. was playing with a bouncy ball that belonged* to his older brother (pictured below). it has a liquid inside and a "floating" pirate head. it used to light up when you bounced the ball. like most 19 month old boys, m. thought it a good idea to put this ball in his mouth and bite down. turns out that is all it took to spring a leak of a "kerosene-like substance" into his mouth (as confirmed by poison control, whose number is listed below). oh great - who on earth decided kerosene was an ideal substance with which to make a child's toy?!?!?! turns out since he only had a tiny amount in his mouth we were instructed to rinse out his mouth the best we could until we no longer detected the odor and then allow him to drink some milk. i dont even want to think about what would have happened if i had to answer "yes" to the question posed to me by the poison control expert of "do you think he ingested more than a few mouthfuls?"
*note the past tense, as this ball now belongs to some proud landfill!
m. was playing with a bouncy ball that belonged* to his older brother (pictured below). it has a liquid inside and a "floating" pirate head. it used to light up when you bounced the ball. like most 19 month old boys, m. thought it a good idea to put this ball in his mouth and bite down. turns out that is all it took to spring a leak of a "kerosene-like substance" into his mouth (as confirmed by poison control, whose number is listed below). oh great - who on earth decided kerosene was an ideal substance with which to make a child's toy?!?!?! turns out since he only had a tiny amount in his mouth we were instructed to rinse out his mouth the best we could until we no longer detected the odor and then allow him to drink some milk. i dont even want to think about what would have happened if i had to answer "yes" to the question posed to me by the poison control expert of "do you think he ingested more than a few mouthfuls?"
*note the past tense, as this ball now belongs to some proud landfill!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
mars vs. venus
j. accepted a new position, with a new agency. as part of the hiring process he has to go through a background check, which included a screening for the use of illicit drugs. what i am about to share will clearly outline the difference between j. (a man) and myself (a mother of 3).
friday was j.'s regular day off. f. was off to camp early and the rest of us decided to accompany j. to the urgent care clinic so he could leave his pee for them to test. this should take what - 15 minutes?! being generous, lets say, i assumed it would take 35 minutes or so. not too outrageous of an outing, during which m. and k. would be strapped into their stroller. then we would be off to have some fun. so we packed up the car with the boys in tow and finally locate the place in one of the seedier neighborhoods outside of baltimore. when we got inside, i quickly realized my generous estimate was laughable. we were going to be here for at least an hour.
so i set out about entertaining the wee ones while we waited what seemed like a ridiculous amount of time. it quickly became clear that the only thing that urgently occurred in this facility were the smoke breaks that the staff took. so finally after an hour, j.'s name is called.
i was so excited i almost peed right there myself! mostly i was just glad because my arsenal of entertainment tricks had dwindled to letting the boys chew each of my credit cards to see which one they liked best and playing all the ring tones on my cell phone to let them stroller dance along to their favorite. clearly i was desperate! another 10 minutes or so pass and j. finally emerges.
i quickly exit my seat and exclaim "thank god!" i am swiftly defeated when j. says "i am not done, i couldn't go" to which i reply "what?!?!what do you mean you couldnt go?did you pee before we left the house?you drank a large iced mccoffee that has got to be at least worth one specimen full!!i am so going to be blogging about this!!!" and then he is all "why don't you take the boys outside and check back in about 15 minutes?" begrudgingly i exit the building into the nine-thousand degree heat with about twelve-thousand percent humidity and quickly exhaust the joys of the great outdoors. [this is when i discovered the favored smoke break area]
i finally decide to load the boys in the car, because, clearly it couldnt take him more than a few minutes to get up the urge to pee, right?! wrong!! 45 minutes later, i pull the car into the ambulance bay (because who are we kidding the last time an ambulance came here its patient was clearly being transported to the morgue and the driver was just stopping to ask directions) and began politely honking my horn. j. emerges and mutters something about how this is too much pressure and that i should just take the boys to lunch and come back. umm, hello - this is where i start to have issues. who goes to a pee test and cant pee? clearly not a women - and absolutely not a mother of three. a mother of three can pee at will - sometimes even against her own will (i'm just saying). filling a cup to a certain line has never been a problem for me!
after another 20 minutes, he finally emerges with a smile on his face, like he just accomplished the unthinkable and says "ready babe?" since it was now lunch time, we proceeded directly to the restaurant where he quietly left the table three times to pee. i guess the pressure was off!
friday was j.'s regular day off. f. was off to camp early and the rest of us decided to accompany j. to the urgent care clinic so he could leave his pee for them to test. this should take what - 15 minutes?! being generous, lets say, i assumed it would take 35 minutes or so. not too outrageous of an outing, during which m. and k. would be strapped into their stroller. then we would be off to have some fun. so we packed up the car with the boys in tow and finally locate the place in one of the seedier neighborhoods outside of baltimore. when we got inside, i quickly realized my generous estimate was laughable. we were going to be here for at least an hour.
so i set out about entertaining the wee ones while we waited what seemed like a ridiculous amount of time. it quickly became clear that the only thing that urgently occurred in this facility were the smoke breaks that the staff took. so finally after an hour, j.'s name is called.
i was so excited i almost peed right there myself! mostly i was just glad because my arsenal of entertainment tricks had dwindled to letting the boys chew each of my credit cards to see which one they liked best and playing all the ring tones on my cell phone to let them stroller dance along to their favorite. clearly i was desperate! another 10 minutes or so pass and j. finally emerges.
i quickly exit my seat and exclaim "thank god!" i am swiftly defeated when j. says "i am not done, i couldn't go" to which i reply "what?!?!what do you mean you couldnt go?did you pee before we left the house?you drank a large iced mccoffee that has got to be at least worth one specimen full!!i am so going to be blogging about this!!!" and then he is all "why don't you take the boys outside and check back in about 15 minutes?" begrudgingly i exit the building into the nine-thousand degree heat with about twelve-thousand percent humidity and quickly exhaust the joys of the great outdoors. [this is when i discovered the favored smoke break area]
i finally decide to load the boys in the car, because, clearly it couldnt take him more than a few minutes to get up the urge to pee, right?! wrong!! 45 minutes later, i pull the car into the ambulance bay (because who are we kidding the last time an ambulance came here its patient was clearly being transported to the morgue and the driver was just stopping to ask directions) and began politely honking my horn. j. emerges and mutters something about how this is too much pressure and that i should just take the boys to lunch and come back. umm, hello - this is where i start to have issues. who goes to a pee test and cant pee? clearly not a women - and absolutely not a mother of three. a mother of three can pee at will - sometimes even against her own will (i'm just saying). filling a cup to a certain line has never been a problem for me!
after another 20 minutes, he finally emerges with a smile on his face, like he just accomplished the unthinkable and says "ready babe?" since it was now lunch time, we proceeded directly to the restaurant where he quietly left the table three times to pee. i guess the pressure was off!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
remember me by lizzie palmer
my dad forwarded this to me. now normally, i delete all the gagillion forwards that my dad sends - (sorry dad - i still love you), but for some reason i opened this one. this was put together by a 15 year old - very insightful young woman.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
michael phelps has nothing on him...
ok, this might not look like much to just the average viewer, but i promise you i am almost in tears each time i see him swim on his own! i am so proud of him for going outside of his comfort zone!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
overheard in my house recently
f.: mommy, i know a great game that we can play with the boys.
me: ok, what is it called?
f.: jock itch
me: jock itch?!
f.: yes, mommy, jock itch
me (swallowing fits of giggles): umm, ok, where did you learn to play that?
f.: i am the only person in the world who knows how to play it.
f.: i invented it!
me: ok, how do we play?
f.: well, first we take some of those legos and we build towers, the first one whose tower gets knocked over is out.
me: ok, so how do you win?
f.: you have to be the one with the last tower standing!
me: ok, what is it called?
f.: jock itch
me: jock itch?!
f.: yes, mommy, jock itch
me (swallowing fits of giggles): umm, ok, where did you learn to play that?
f.: i am the only person in the world who knows how to play it.
f.: i invented it!
me: ok, how do we play?
f.: well, first we take some of those legos and we build towers, the first one whose tower gets knocked over is out.
me: ok, so how do you win?
f.: you have to be the one with the last tower standing!
simplify
things have been crazy around here lately and its starting to wear on me. i have caught myself twice this week telling good friends that i feel like my life is just so complicated lately. one wise friend responded, "well, n. thats because your life has been complicated lately." it got me thinking about how i can simplify things. this is going to be my goal over the next few weeks and months. i am curious about my readers - delurk and tell me if your life is complicated too and if not, how do you keep things simple?! come on - i know you are out there, i see your towns and cities streaming by on the bottom right of my pages - go ahead, click that comment button and share. i dare you...
Friday, July 4, 2008
play-by-play of our trip to the in-laws
thursday, july 3rd
3:30PM
ask j. to load the car, with all that it takes to get out of the house with 3 kids for less than 24 hours. needlesstosay, the minivan was packed to the gills.
4:15PM
personally pack small cooler with essentials for trip and head to private swim lessons for fin, before heading to PA to see the in-laws. neglect to specifically ask jon if he put everything in the car, including the suitcase packed with everyone's clothes for the trip. (insert eerie foreshadowing music here).
5:25PM
finish up with private swim lesson (which by the way is SOO worth the money, f. was swimming unassisted during his 2nd lesson) and load the kids in the car.
5:26PM
make 1st stop at mcd's to prepare for a session of over the shoulder feeding. decide not to order anything for j. and myself, because we are going to stop at our absolute favorite sub shop in delaware on the way. (while we were in college, we ate here at least twice a week, and truth be told it is the *only* thing i look forward to on these trips to the in-laws).
5:27PM
commence over the shoulder feeding.
5:35PM
realize beach traffic is going to be a bit of a pain in the arse for us. apparantly everyone is getting an early start on their holiday travel. panic starts to set in as i wonder if the sub shop will still be open when we finally make it to delaware.
5:36PM
phone information to get in touch with sub shop to confirm closing time. am advised that they are open until 8pm. actually say "sweet" outloud to the sub shop employee. yes the subs are that good!
5:37PM
sit back and enjoy the barrage of "mommy, are we there yet?"
7:08PM
j. mentions that we are about 10 minutes out from the sub shop and that i should phone in our order.
7:09PM
call sub shop. exact transcript of that call is provided here:
them: "hello, thank you for calling capriotti's in middletown. we are out of sub rolls"
me: "oh, ok"
them: "have a wonderful holiday"
me: "umm, thanks"
7:10PM
dry my face from the actual tears that came streaming down when i realized i had to do the in-law visit with out the proper sustenance on board. settle for arby's drive-thru. (hey, it was that or waffle haus with three screaming kids in tow.)
8:35PM
arrive at in-laws, witness mil's first mix-up of who is m. and who is k. firsthand. try really hard to smile. fail!
8:36PM
remind myself that i am here because mil has stage 4 ovarian cancer and she really wants to see her grandchildren while she is well enough to enjoy them.
8:37PM
release children into totally unsafe backyard and proceed to chase them in opposite directions while in-laws sit on their collective arse and watch; exerting energy only to comment on how ragged they seem to be running me. remove m. from water feature in yard.
8:38PM
retrieve cushion from inside for mil's sensitive arse, which is apparantly not used to sitting on deck steps. quickly scan fridge and discover that no child friendly items have been procured in anticipation of our planned visit. remove k. from water feature in yard.
8:39PM
remind myself again that i am visiting because mil has stage 4 ovarian cancer and she really wants to see her grandchildren while she is well enough to enjoy them. remove m. & k. from water feature in yard.
8:40PM
ask j. to unload car, as it is nearly two hours past the bedtime of the shortest people in my life.
8:42PM
watch as j. discovers that he neglected to pack the suitcase. realize that we are here for 24 hours with only the clothes on our backs and a few diapers that i stashed in a separate bag. panic!
8:43PM
set up pack-n-plays and change diapers. put m&k down for the night in slightly damp clothes courtesy of water feature play and prepare to make a trip to closest target for the essentials. screaming ensues.
8:44PM
mil makes a big deal about screaming and turns off her hearing aids. mil inquires about how long screaming will last. consider telling her all night, but refrain and say "oh, probably no more than 10 minutes".
8:46PM
wonder if it is really safe to leave all three kids with in-laws while going to target. decide to take f. with us, and leave m&k behind - hoping they will settle down quickly.
8:47PM
leave for target, ask j. if he is purposely avoiding making eye contact with me because he knows just how pissed i am. receive affirmative from j.
9:15PM
arrive at target and prepare buy:
outfits x 5
underwear x 3
pj's x 3 (being optimistic that m&k will be asleep upon re-arrival at in-laws)
packs of overnights, diapers and wipes
milk
breakfast items
juice
toy to bribe f., who is up way past his bedtime.
9:55PM
smack down $192.07 and mention to husband that it would have been cheaper to bring the suitcase along.
10:22PM
arrive at in-laws for the second time and am relieved to discover that m. & k. are asleep.
10:23PM
discover fan from circa 1963 in bedroom and realize for the first time, that although it is still 85 degrees out and about 105% humidity that in-laws have opted not to use the air conditioning during our visit.
10:24PM
unsuccessfully direct evil glare in the direction of j., who is still avoiding making eye contact with me.
10:25PM
remove 3, yes 3, winter-weight blankets from full size bed and wonder how j., f. and myself are going to sleep comfortably. climb in bed.
10:40PM
turn to fin and ask if he wants to camp out in his sleeping bag on the floor. smile on the inside when he agrees!
10:45PM
try to get comfortable.
10:48PM
toss.
11:15PM
turn.
friday, july 4th
12:38AM
toss.
1:36AM
turn.
2:15AM
realize there is no chance that comfort will be in the equation.
2:57AM
look at clock for what i hope will be the last time before falling asleep.
3:01AM
wake up to sound of k. screaming his head off, realize j. has already gotten out of bed to assist k. roll over and try to get comfortable.
3:02AM
remind myself that there is no chance that comfort will part of the equation.
3:14AM
j. returns and says "k. is really tired i think he will settle down in a minute or two" and "by the way, m. is up too!"
3:15AM
by some miracle, both boys fall back to sleep
4:16AM
try to remember if i tossed last or turned. opt for turn.
5:07AM
awake to the sound of my own screaming and realize that i have a charley horse in each leg.
7:23AM
turn to j. and inform him that the boys are awake and that we should get out of bed.
7:24AM
stumble out of bed, say good morning to mil on way to get m. & k. and start day by feeding m. & k. witness mil mistake m. for k. the second time. mind you, they are still wearing the same clothes as the night before (which don't match).
8:00AM
finish cleaning up breakfast and settle boys in downstairs "playroom" to play and wait for big brother to wake up. begin to move breakables, and other choking hazards, etc. to safer ground.
8:24AM
decide that it is not possible to remove every unsafe object, give up and sit down for the first time to enjoy watching the boys play. wonder where in-laws are, after all, we are visiting so that they can enjoy the children.
9:00AM
in-laws emerge after their morning naps and settle down in close proximity to children and proceed to read their newspapers.
9:13AM
f. emerges and requests breakfast.
9:15AM
make breakfast for f. and myself, as everyone else has already eaten.
9:23AM
clean up after f. and make way back to "playroom".
9:24AM
resume watching children play and in-laws read their papers.
9:25AM
remind myself again that i am visiting because mil has stage 4 ovarian cancer and she really wants to see her grandchildren while she is well enough to enjoy them.
9:47AM
carry on debate with myself about whether it will be easier to watch children in "playroom" or yard.
10:12AM
move things outdoors. remove m. from water feature.
10:14AM
go inside to retrieve cushion for mil.
10:15AM
remove both m. & k. from water feature
10:27AM
move back inside because of rain. give all three kids a snack to pass time. and realize i have not even visited the little girls room yet today.
11:00AM
cry uncle and announce that i am going to get a shower.
11:02AM
strip bed and remake as requested by mil.
11:35AM
take cold shower, because am sweaty mess after making bed with all 3 of the winter-weight blankets.
11:45AM
emerge from shower and hear m. & k. screaming their heads off. wonder if j. will realize that they are ready for lunch, quickly followed by a nap.
12:03PM
make lunch for m., k., f. and j. overhear conversation lead by mil about what color my children's eyes are. (all green/hazel for the record)
12:10PM
finally sit down to have my own lunch. realize m. & k. are finished eating and are ready for nap. get up and put the boys down for a nap.
12:18PM
resume my own lunch. excuse f. from the table and note, with a smile, to self that he actually tried the cheese with a name i can't even pronounce that i put on his plate.
12:19PM
bite my tongue while mil makes f. take one more bite of everything on his plate before leaving the table. have debate in my head about whether i am more pissed because a.) i clearly already excused the poor child or b.) this is the first true interaction she is having with him and it involves force feeding of some cheese i can't even pronounce.
12:25PM
settle f. in with a cartoon while his brothers nap.
12:26PM
wonder where in-laws are.
2:35PM
hear m. & k. waking from nap and wonder where in-laws have been for last 2 hours. realize they have been napping as well, when fil finally emerges.
3:27PM
agree to take boys to the park, for a change of pace, and frankly a break for myself.
3:28PM
realize in-laws are not coming to park. try to make eye contact with j. fail!
3:29PM
arrive at park. let kids play. finally corner j. and agree that this is ridiculous and we should just pack it in. discuss how we will inform in-laws that taking everyone out for chinese is just not going to be happening for dinner tonight.
3:59PM
return to in-laws and update them on plan to leave early. discover that mil has now plugged in water features in the yard, so they are even more of an attraction. curse mil under breath. remove m. & k. from water features.
4:00PM
ask j. if we have stayed long enough and beg him to pack the car. remove k. from water feature.
4:15PM
make one last sweep of the house to look for any forgotten items, since after all, j. was packing the car. ask j. to remove m. from water feature.
4:17PM
finish making 3rd trip to the car with all the forgotten items that i found on last sweep of house.
4:18PM
smile as we exit the driveway of in-laws. turn to husband and tell him he owes me big time, finally making eye contact.
3:30PM
ask j. to load the car, with all that it takes to get out of the house with 3 kids for less than 24 hours. needlesstosay, the minivan was packed to the gills.
4:15PM
personally pack small cooler with essentials for trip and head to private swim lessons for fin, before heading to PA to see the in-laws. neglect to specifically ask jon if he put everything in the car, including the suitcase packed with everyone's clothes for the trip. (insert eerie foreshadowing music here).
5:25PM
finish up with private swim lesson (which by the way is SOO worth the money, f. was swimming unassisted during his 2nd lesson) and load the kids in the car.
5:26PM
make 1st stop at mcd's to prepare for a session of over the shoulder feeding. decide not to order anything for j. and myself, because we are going to stop at our absolute favorite sub shop in delaware on the way. (while we were in college, we ate here at least twice a week, and truth be told it is the *only* thing i look forward to on these trips to the in-laws).
5:27PM
commence over the shoulder feeding.
5:35PM
realize beach traffic is going to be a bit of a pain in the arse for us. apparantly everyone is getting an early start on their holiday travel. panic starts to set in as i wonder if the sub shop will still be open when we finally make it to delaware.
5:36PM
phone information to get in touch with sub shop to confirm closing time. am advised that they are open until 8pm. actually say "sweet" outloud to the sub shop employee. yes the subs are that good!
5:37PM
sit back and enjoy the barrage of "mommy, are we there yet?"
7:08PM
j. mentions that we are about 10 minutes out from the sub shop and that i should phone in our order.
7:09PM
call sub shop. exact transcript of that call is provided here:
them: "hello, thank you for calling capriotti's in middletown. we are out of sub rolls"
me: "oh, ok"
them: "have a wonderful holiday"
me: "umm, thanks"
7:10PM
dry my face from the actual tears that came streaming down when i realized i had to do the in-law visit with out the proper sustenance on board. settle for arby's drive-thru. (hey, it was that or waffle haus with three screaming kids in tow.)
8:35PM
arrive at in-laws, witness mil's first mix-up of who is m. and who is k. firsthand. try really hard to smile. fail!
8:36PM
remind myself that i am here because mil has stage 4 ovarian cancer and she really wants to see her grandchildren while she is well enough to enjoy them.
8:37PM
release children into totally unsafe backyard and proceed to chase them in opposite directions while in-laws sit on their collective arse and watch; exerting energy only to comment on how ragged they seem to be running me. remove m. from water feature in yard.
8:38PM
retrieve cushion from inside for mil's sensitive arse, which is apparantly not used to sitting on deck steps. quickly scan fridge and discover that no child friendly items have been procured in anticipation of our planned visit. remove k. from water feature in yard.
8:39PM
remind myself again that i am visiting because mil has stage 4 ovarian cancer and she really wants to see her grandchildren while she is well enough to enjoy them. remove m. & k. from water feature in yard.
8:40PM
ask j. to unload car, as it is nearly two hours past the bedtime of the shortest people in my life.
8:42PM
watch as j. discovers that he neglected to pack the suitcase. realize that we are here for 24 hours with only the clothes on our backs and a few diapers that i stashed in a separate bag. panic!
8:43PM
set up pack-n-plays and change diapers. put m&k down for the night in slightly damp clothes courtesy of water feature play and prepare to make a trip to closest target for the essentials. screaming ensues.
8:44PM
mil makes a big deal about screaming and turns off her hearing aids. mil inquires about how long screaming will last. consider telling her all night, but refrain and say "oh, probably no more than 10 minutes".
8:46PM
wonder if it is really safe to leave all three kids with in-laws while going to target. decide to take f. with us, and leave m&k behind - hoping they will settle down quickly.
8:47PM
leave for target, ask j. if he is purposely avoiding making eye contact with me because he knows just how pissed i am. receive affirmative from j.
9:15PM
arrive at target and prepare buy:
outfits x 5
underwear x 3
pj's x 3 (being optimistic that m&k will be asleep upon re-arrival at in-laws)
packs of overnights, diapers and wipes
milk
breakfast items
juice
toy to bribe f., who is up way past his bedtime.
9:55PM
smack down $192.07 and mention to husband that it would have been cheaper to bring the suitcase along.
10:22PM
arrive at in-laws for the second time and am relieved to discover that m. & k. are asleep.
10:23PM
discover fan from circa 1963 in bedroom and realize for the first time, that although it is still 85 degrees out and about 105% humidity that in-laws have opted not to use the air conditioning during our visit.
10:24PM
unsuccessfully direct evil glare in the direction of j., who is still avoiding making eye contact with me.
10:25PM
remove 3, yes 3, winter-weight blankets from full size bed and wonder how j., f. and myself are going to sleep comfortably. climb in bed.
10:40PM
turn to fin and ask if he wants to camp out in his sleeping bag on the floor. smile on the inside when he agrees!
10:45PM
try to get comfortable.
10:48PM
toss.
11:15PM
turn.
friday, july 4th
12:38AM
toss.
1:36AM
turn.
2:15AM
realize there is no chance that comfort will be in the equation.
2:57AM
look at clock for what i hope will be the last time before falling asleep.
3:01AM
wake up to sound of k. screaming his head off, realize j. has already gotten out of bed to assist k. roll over and try to get comfortable.
3:02AM
remind myself that there is no chance that comfort will part of the equation.
3:14AM
j. returns and says "k. is really tired i think he will settle down in a minute or two" and "by the way, m. is up too!"
3:15AM
by some miracle, both boys fall back to sleep
4:16AM
try to remember if i tossed last or turned. opt for turn.
5:07AM
awake to the sound of my own screaming and realize that i have a charley horse in each leg.
7:23AM
turn to j. and inform him that the boys are awake and that we should get out of bed.
7:24AM
stumble out of bed, say good morning to mil on way to get m. & k. and start day by feeding m. & k. witness mil mistake m. for k. the second time. mind you, they are still wearing the same clothes as the night before (which don't match).
8:00AM
finish cleaning up breakfast and settle boys in downstairs "playroom" to play and wait for big brother to wake up. begin to move breakables, and other choking hazards, etc. to safer ground.
8:24AM
decide that it is not possible to remove every unsafe object, give up and sit down for the first time to enjoy watching the boys play. wonder where in-laws are, after all, we are visiting so that they can enjoy the children.
9:00AM
in-laws emerge after their morning naps and settle down in close proximity to children and proceed to read their newspapers.
9:13AM
f. emerges and requests breakfast.
9:15AM
make breakfast for f. and myself, as everyone else has already eaten.
9:23AM
clean up after f. and make way back to "playroom".
9:24AM
resume watching children play and in-laws read their papers.
9:25AM
remind myself again that i am visiting because mil has stage 4 ovarian cancer and she really wants to see her grandchildren while she is well enough to enjoy them.
9:47AM
carry on debate with myself about whether it will be easier to watch children in "playroom" or yard.
10:12AM
move things outdoors. remove m. from water feature.
10:14AM
go inside to retrieve cushion for mil.
10:15AM
remove both m. & k. from water feature
10:27AM
move back inside because of rain. give all three kids a snack to pass time. and realize i have not even visited the little girls room yet today.
11:00AM
cry uncle and announce that i am going to get a shower.
11:02AM
strip bed and remake as requested by mil.
11:35AM
take cold shower, because am sweaty mess after making bed with all 3 of the winter-weight blankets.
11:45AM
emerge from shower and hear m. & k. screaming their heads off. wonder if j. will realize that they are ready for lunch, quickly followed by a nap.
12:03PM
make lunch for m., k., f. and j. overhear conversation lead by mil about what color my children's eyes are. (all green/hazel for the record)
12:10PM
finally sit down to have my own lunch. realize m. & k. are finished eating and are ready for nap. get up and put the boys down for a nap.
12:18PM
resume my own lunch. excuse f. from the table and note, with a smile, to self that he actually tried the cheese with a name i can't even pronounce that i put on his plate.
12:19PM
bite my tongue while mil makes f. take one more bite of everything on his plate before leaving the table. have debate in my head about whether i am more pissed because a.) i clearly already excused the poor child or b.) this is the first true interaction she is having with him and it involves force feeding of some cheese i can't even pronounce.
12:25PM
settle f. in with a cartoon while his brothers nap.
12:26PM
wonder where in-laws are.
2:35PM
hear m. & k. waking from nap and wonder where in-laws have been for last 2 hours. realize they have been napping as well, when fil finally emerges.
3:27PM
agree to take boys to the park, for a change of pace, and frankly a break for myself.
3:28PM
realize in-laws are not coming to park. try to make eye contact with j. fail!
3:29PM
arrive at park. let kids play. finally corner j. and agree that this is ridiculous and we should just pack it in. discuss how we will inform in-laws that taking everyone out for chinese is just not going to be happening for dinner tonight.
3:59PM
return to in-laws and update them on plan to leave early. discover that mil has now plugged in water features in the yard, so they are even more of an attraction. curse mil under breath. remove m. & k. from water features.
4:00PM
ask j. if we have stayed long enough and beg him to pack the car. remove k. from water feature.
4:15PM
make one last sweep of the house to look for any forgotten items, since after all, j. was packing the car. ask j. to remove m. from water feature.
4:17PM
finish making 3rd trip to the car with all the forgotten items that i found on last sweep of house.
4:18PM
smile as we exit the driveway of in-laws. turn to husband and tell him he owes me big time, finally making eye contact.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
overheard on the mini-golf course yesterday
f.: mommy, this is the best day of my whole life!
me: i am glad bud! sigh
me: i am glad bud! sigh
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