when weeks had passed and it seemed like my children were ginormous compared to their suite-mates in the nicu i began hearing things like "he is too big to still be here" or "you are still here?" then k. decided to kick the nicu like a bad habit. we cranked up the heat to 85 degrees in our house and lived in a giant incubator for fear we would end up back in the hospital for low temperature issues.
but m. was stubborn, he couldn't kick the habit. we later learned that it was because he had a love affair going on with one of the amazing nicu nurses. she would visit him first thing each shift to talk to him and take him to rounds and just snuggle him. once i got wind of this affair, i had a little talk with m. told him i didnt approve of "that hussy" and that it was time to join his family at home.
lately it seems like he is conjuring memories of his long lost love and is trying anything and everything to land himself back in the hospital. today, for the second time in as many weeks - he split his bottom lip wide open. and boy was it bloody - the kind that makes you vomit a little in your mouth when you see the spurt of blood land on your own shirt, but then you swallow and forget all about that because its your little baby standing in front of you spewing blood out of his lip and screaming his head off. i am fairly certain if i could have translated the shrieks it would have been something like, "please mama, i love her, i just want to see her one more time!!"
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