what's good enough for the first family

f. is growing up before my eyes. there are days when i look at him and barely recognize the little snuggle bug who would eagerly barrel down the hall of the hospital to see me while i was there on bedrest. he would heave himself up into my bed and snuggle in for a cartoon. i frequently wonder how much of that experience, my absence, has shaped the child he is today. it just seems like the sweetness has slipped away all too soon. since he is the oldest, i dont have another child to compare. is this the normal progression of growing up? is first grade the age when it becomes the norm to shun a kiss good-bye from your mom at the bus stop? until today, i had been relegated to fist bumps in public, and only allowed kisses at home. i guess i was caught up in being soo proud that he was no longer clinging to my side to have really digested the fact that i miss those good-bye kisses, even if they were sometimes stolen. i guess i felt like if it was good enough for the first family, it was good enough for us. i guess i felt like i could still sneak in those kisses at home.

then it happened. today my good morning kiss was shunned, instead a fist was offered to bump. my heart broke a little...already?! this afternoon upon wrapping up a trying homework session, i leaned over for another kiss. i really just wanted him to know how much i love him. again, up came the fist for an offer of bumping. did you hear that? my heart is breaking a bit more. so i asked, "bud, whats the problem with giving mommy a kiss when we are at home and no one can see it?" he replied, "mom, i just think that is soo old school!" and there you have it.

overheard in my house recently

during a discussion about college and his plans to attend

f: daddy, i dont think i want to go to the naval academy.
j: thats fine bud. but college is important and when the time comes you will choose a good one i am sure.
f: you and mommy went to college together right?
j: yup.
f: daddy, i dont think mommy knew you were a moron when she met you in college.

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while playing the "who else" game

me: who am i?
m: mama
me: who is that?
m: keegie
me: how about him?
m: finnie
me: who is that?
m: daddy
me: who else is in our family?
m: granny and pop
me: who else?
m: nando, how about nando?
me: yes, nando. how about mommom (MIL) and grumpy (FIL)?
m: who???
me: exactly

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while all three boys are in the bathtub

m: wee, i getting all queen!
f: gross, m. i can see your booty.
f: m. show some manners would ya?


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long awaited momentous occasion follows

me: here you go keegs, here is your banana.
k: thank you mama!
me: (quietly crying)

1st day of school

yesterday was the 1st day of school for f. 1st grade, when did that happen?! he is really growing up. at the bus stop he was super excited to see his friends. there were absolutely no nerves, on his part. when the bus pulled up he nonchalantly said goodbye to me, and allowed me to kiss him on the top of his head. it seems like just moments ago that i was snuggling with my newborn f. and waxing poetic about how his head felt like cashmere. yesterday was a good day. i am one proud mama.

"I OK"

where did the summer go? does anyone know? seems like just yesterday we attended f's last day of school and took the boys for haircuts to celebrate. it wasnt long after that when camp started, and somewhere in the midst of the drama i lost track of summer. school starts on monday for f. and i am feeling like the days just slipped right through my hands like. we did plenty; went to a baysox game, road the rails in strasburg, enjoyed dutch wonderland, had great friends visit, had plenty of cookouts, went to the water park, and all the things you are supposed to do during summer.

still i have been feeling like we wasted the summer and was looking forward to making the most of the last few days of it. then last week i caught a terrible virus. i have never been soo sick in all my life. it was awful. then each day after that another family member woke up with the same thing. i felt horrible for spreading the germs and mostly just spent a week laying around in between cleaning up vomit or digusting diapers or both. it was not the staycation i imagined. it was not making the most of the last few days of summer. then just when everyone was feeling better and normalcy resumed, i was stricken. again. this time i ended up in the ER and was discharged with a probable diagnosis of salmonella and a heavy dose of cipro to kill what ails. its been a terrible two weeks.

all the while though, k. has been chugging along and has had a language explosion. he is seeing a private therapist now, still attending ITP playgroup and still has his ITP therapist visit us at home weekly. finally its paying off. it is soo exciting to finally see this happen. earlier this summer i was soo sad for him and feeling his frustration and frankly some of my own as he was rated to have the expressive language skills of a child half his age. today on the way to naptime k. tripped and fell over. i scooped him up and asked him if he was OK. he replied "I OK" and thats when i knew it, he is going to be OK. maybe the summer wasnt a waste after all. maybe the good things are what happen when life is just coasting and dealing you a bad hand. "I OK" too. we are all going to be OK!

bday candle

this year when i broke the candle out, two months late, f. says "awe, mom, i hate that thing!" i told him that i said the same thing to my mom each year, but when i turned 21 and had a picture of myself next to it from each year i really appreciated it. i am so glad he is still appeasing me and taking such cute pictures with it.

overheard in my house recently

f: have a good day dad, i hope you feel better.
j (on his way out the door): thanks bud, you have a good day too.
f: mommy, what's wrong with daddy?
me: he has a man cold.
f: what kind of cold?
me: a man cold.
f (uproarious laughter): thats the funniest thing i ever heard.
me: me too bud.

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recently f. has been shaking me down when i ask him for help. some days it is easier to cough up a quarter then to fight the battle.

f: i got my shoes, i am ready to go mommy. now, where's my quarter?
me: if you are going to talk to me like that, i doubt you are going to get a quarter.
f: oh. where's my quarter nicest mommy in the whole world?
me: that's better.

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f: why do i have to stay in my room all night long?!
me: mommy is having a meeting tonight with her mothers of multiples group.
f: hey dad, lets have a music party all night long tomorrow. the number one rule, no girls allowed.
j: sounds like a plan.
me: sounds like a good night for a girls night out.
j: wait a minute...

bullies

kids can be mean creatures. maybe in suburban maryland, after a young boy was brutally beaten to death in broad daylight, we are more in tune to it than some other places. maybe not. i suppose bullies exist in all part of the world. i wish they didnt have to exist in summer camp. f. has been having a bit of a rough time this summer at the camp we selected. [insert guilty mom themes here]

so i am opening it up to you internets, what do you do when your child is bullied? a completely unscientific poll as of yet has revealed that anyone with a Y chromosome says tell him to beat the crap out of the kid and it will be over. those lacking the Y choromosome tend to offer sympathy and advice leaning more towards taking it up with the authorities. at this point we are taking a mini break from camp and reassessing on monday. yesterday the low point of my day was listening to my child recount the story where a third party was sent to "karate chop" him because he asked for his pokemon card back, because the kid he had given it to didnt have a card to trade. the y chromosome advice is sounding pretty good...