stepford wife

i am sure a lot of you can relate to the pressures that we feel to be a good wife, and good mom, a good sister, a good daughter - all. at. once! how many hats do we wear? i gave up counting. i spend my days building my resume with things like hostage negotiator, sanitation worker, peace talk broker, short order cook, social director, chief of staff, financial wizard, etc. all roles that i didnt necessarily see myself playing, but nonetheless, i do them and even earn awards in some areas. in my former life, i designed web sites, some of which actually earned national recognition. but i am finding that there is nothing like a jelly-filled, stick to your cheek kiss that is planted full force by someone who loves you unconditionally.

somewhere along the line in this journey of motherhood i met a woman who i perceived to be excelling at wearing all these hats simultaneously. because she lived close by and we have children the same age, we spent a lot of time together by default. whenever i spent time with her, i would often leave feeling just a little worse about myself. i would be thinking things like: how does she always look so put together, is that another lilly pulitzer outfit? how does she serve a well-balanced hot meal for lunch every day? how does she get her children to eat without complaint? why do her whites look so bright? its only the first week of school - how did she already have time to buy halloween costumes? how did she already finish her christmas shopping, its only october? why did her house sell after only 11 days of being on the market? as time wore on, i began to see things for what they actually were. she only has one lily pulitzer outfit, which she has been wearing for the last 4+ years. she puts the tv on and her children eat lunch in a tv coma - it probably wouldnt matter if it were a bowl of rocks. things started to become clearer to me. i began referring to her at the stepford wife. it seemed fitting, and my mom mentioned it after having only met her a few times! i was happy for myself when the "sold" sign went up in front of her house. the reality is that even though she is now living in "the perfect house in her dream neighborhood" i myself have seen her driving by her old house on 3 separate occasions. apparently, dreamville, usa isnt so dreamy after all.


i guess the moral of the story is this:
-listen to your mom, she probably has more life experience.
-don't judge a book by its cover, once you remove the dust jacket its often a different story.
-be proud of your own accomplishments and dont waste time keeping up with the joneses.
-i could care less if my whites are glaringly white, i will gladly take a jelly stained outfit and remember fondly the sticky kiss that came along with it.