precipitate

toddlers thrive on routine, right? we have a fairly regimented routine established, at least during the week. throw in another adult and it all goes to pot on the weekends. logic aside. it just goes to pot on the weekends. but today, on a weekday, this is what precipitated naptime, from the toddlers perspectives (collaboratively for the benefit of this post).

7:06-7:12am
wake up and immediately begin jumping up and down in our cribs. begin to hurl contents of crib onto the floor. hear footsteps of a grownup coming, smile and proceed to look innocent.

7:13-7:27am
run around like maniacs when released from crib and play "catch me if you can" with mommy, followed by "twirly baby" while wet diapers and replaced with dry ones. intentionally move limbs in directions opposite to shirt and arm holes, as pj's are replaced with play clothes. smile at mommy and proceed to look innocent. head downstairs army commando style. run in opposite directions and see who mommy catches first.

7:28-8:03am
get strapped into booster seat and begin to make requests for breakfast. check range of vocal chords by gradually increasing volume each time we utter the word "yogurt". watch mommy head toward bathroom and take the chance to begin checking the velocity of apple jacks when hurled at direction of siblings and floor. when mommy returns, smile and proceed to look innocent. convince selves that we are being released from boosters because its time to watch cartoons, not because of being caught red handed hurling remaining breakfast across the table.

8:04am (and really this is the precise moment mommy's day went to hell)
remind each other that yesterday we broke the gate (for the third time) which keeps us in the playroom and begin to test the strength and integrity of mommy's quick fix with a bungee cord.

8:05am-11:07am
take turns running full force into the compromised gate. watch mommy answer the phone and begin screaming as is routine. scream banana at the top of lungs. begin to beg for cartoons by screaming "toon, toon, toon, toon, toon, toon, toon, toon, toon, toon, toon." realize that 4 screams ago, mommy broke down and turned on the tv. alternate between screamming: "gabba, gabba, gabba" and running full force into the now severely compromised gate. wonder what mommy means when she says "check facebook and email".

11:08-11:37am
launch selves one final time into the gate and enjoy the ride as it collapses. proceed to watch in amazement as mommy totally freaks out and breaks out the big guns: the superyard and 2 more bungee cords. begin to giggle as mommy moves furniture in an attempt to secure the superyard to something, anything. sit down with bowl of animal crackers and watch mommy rig a new gate. begin to disassemble entertainment center armoire in attempt to escape superyard. enjoy quiet moment to ourselves, which mommy calls "timeout," while mommy re-assembles entertainment center armoire. rinse, lather and repeat until granny calls.

11:38am-12noon
talk to granny on speaker phone. say "huh?!?" when granny asks if we are being good boys and proceed to smile and blow copious amounts of kisses over the phone. hope granny will continue to think mommy was conjuring images of sweet baby animals when she called us monsters. say bye to granny and get strapped into boosters for lunch.

12:02pm
explore texture of grilled cheese and fresh strawberries by rubbing them in our hair and squishing them in our hands. wonder why we have been abruptly removed from boosters and hastily transported to our cribs. smile, proceed to look innocent and settle in for a long winters nap.