that sweet little baby you used to haul around on your hip or tow around holding hands. lately, i have been wondering what happened to fin. he used to be such a sweet boy. and so polite - everyone would comment about how polite he was. and honestly, it wasnt that long ago. just in october we spent a night in the ER with him. he woke up around 2AM having trouble breathing, and the poor thing was scared out of his mind he was doing the ugly cry as oprah would call it. so we quickly dressed ourselves, scooped him up along with his blanket and speed to the ER. in the triage, the nurse wanted to put the little pulsox reader on his finger. and when she asked him if she could do it he responded, "no thank you". she got the same response, "no thank you," when she asked him to open his mouth so she could take his temperature. now here is a little boy who can barely breathe still taking the time to use his manners. scared as i was about what was wrong with him, there was still a glimmer of being a proud mama. turned out he had croup and needed a steroid shot and a nubulizer treatment once they moved him into the ER. but that triage nurse was so touched by how sweet he was, that when she was off duty she came looking for us to check on him. again that glimmer of proud mama surfaced.
lately that glimmer surfaces less frequently and my face burns in mortification more often. he has always been a talker, but sometimes the things he says are downright embarassing. like this question to an unsuspecting waitress - "why are your teeth so dirty?" poor girl just had braces. thankfully i was not present for that one - poor granny and pop felt the face burn i am sure. yesterday we were in the mall with a friend and he starts the visit off with "i am too tired to do that" and i had a bad feeling about the day would progress. actually his mood did improve and his energy resurfaced. at one point fin and his little friend were running towards the playland area and got a bit ahead of the grownups. i was scared because with max and keegan in tow, i couldnt chase after them. so off went the other grownup to corral them. we both sort of let our charges have it, mostly out of fear. but from then on they were much better. they would walk ahead, but look back over their shoulders to make sure we were still in sight. it was nice to see they had learned a lesson. however, my improved mood was quickly squashed.
here is how it went down...
we were headed towards pottery barn kids, a favorite spot of kids to run amuck. the kids were about 5 paces ahead - a totally reasonable distance. the mall is full of construction right now with this huge expansion in progress. so we are rounding the center court - which is now big temporary walls loaded with ads about what is to come. i feel a swift breeze to my side and this mature woman passes by, weaving in and out of our party and likely the other mall goers as well. so on one of their regular check to see if they are still in a safe distance, fin and his friend turn to look for the grownups. this woman was blocked twice, completely inadvertantly, by fin as she tried to weave through our party. honestly, i dont think he even saw her at all. and she looks at me and the other grownup and says in the huffiest voice she can muster "you really should teach your children some manners!". i was speechless. it was one of those moments where you think of all the great comebacks just a few moments too late. like "where did you go to charm school, because i want to be sure i don't send my child there?" honestly all that was coming to mind was F*** YOU LADY!!, but given the company i refrained and muttered something clever like "perhaps you could use a lesson as well". why is it that things like this can just ruin a day? and honestly, a day later, why am i still thinking about this? part of it, i suppose, is that i am missing the polite little boy. while he was not in the wrong in this situation, he has been lacking manners a great deal recently. its a sore spot right now. at any rate, we got on with our day. and later at lunch, two separate people approached and commented on how well behaved our children were at lunch. nonetheless, i have been left wondering should moms be added to the protected class? is there such a thing as mommy discrimination?
fin and i did have a long talk on the way home about his manners resurfacing and i have noticed a bit of an improvement. i am hoping we are on the way to getting back on track. i miss the no thank yous.
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