after the new year came and went, i started to think you boys would never be sprung from the confines of the nicu. we spent so many holidays there with you. thanksgiving (still in my belly), christmas eve and christmas day, mommy and daddy's 10th wedding anniversary, and new years eve and new years day. we had sort of had enough and just really wanted you home. by now daddy had returned to work, so that when you did finally get sprung he could spend time at home with us. every morning he would fill a cooler with all the momma's milk and drive to the nicu to wish you a good morning. most days you were still sleeping, so he would quietly sneak out and go to work. one morning, he got pulled over for speeding on his way to see you. the policeman practically gave him a police escort when daddy told him that he was just taking milk to his boys in the nicu.
somehow, unwittingly, we were becoming members of this "club" of nicu survivors. those were such hard days. i felt pulled in so many directions, to be at home with fin who had been without me for 5 weeks, to be by your bedsides, to be with family for the holidays, etc. but the worst pull of all came when you were discharged keegan. i had to do the unthinkable and leave max behind. i was so happy to have you out of the nicu keegan, but it was horribly tempered by the fact that max was still in his isolette. it was a long difficult week, one i wasnt sure i would survive. but survive we did - all 5 of us! on a cold morning in january when i called to check on max first thing in the morning i got the best news ever - he would be discharged!! the poor nurse who took care of you max that day never saw anyone scoop up a baby and run out the doors so quickly. she was rushing behind me to the car, saying are you sure you dont have any questions. it felt so wonderful to have all my boys under one roof. that day i took one of my favorite pictures ever.
to be continued...
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