white lights

last year when i was in the hospital, i had a particularly difficult time with the idea of having to spend christmas there. the thought of fin spending his christmas at my bedside was heart wrenching. my eyes are blurred with tears now, just at the memory of it. after all, thanksgiving was hard enough. my family tried to make it easier, but the fact of the matter is that holidays in the hospital just plain suck. at the time, i thought i would wipe my memory of all things sterile and horrible about thanksgiving and christmas spent at aamc.

a funny thing happened today that reminded me of a wonderful gesture offered to me last year by fin and jon to improve my mental state. three familiar little christmas trees strung with bright white lights made an appearance. no matter that they were intended as lawn ornaments, given the stakes at their bases - they now sit shining in my dining room window (staked into the box they were sold in). these trees got me through some horrible nights at aamc. their peaceful glow would soothe me to sleep and take my mind off of the situation at hand. they were brought to me by fin and jon on one of the most difficult days there. i had just learned that i would be put on a pump to deliver contraction stopping medication on a continual basis. and in burst fin and jon arms overflowing with treats. this big white box gave way to these three little christmas trees strung with white shiny lights. a paper bag gave way to some of my cherished childhood christmas ornaments. and my family gave way to the most precious gift of all...love. on that day in aamc, they were brought out of the box, staked into the box, decorated and finally adorned with a beautiful white aamc sheet/tree skirt. the ornaments were hung with care by my own flesh and blood. the room lights were turned down, a drum roll was imitated and they were lit by my own husband. there were not unplugged until i was released from the hospital on this very day last year.

it is only fitting that one year later, they are again shining bright. the white lights that i cherished so much are again bringing me comfort. thank you jon and fin!