guilt

i am convinced that when you become a mom something happens to your guilt reflex. somehow all those pregnancy hormones overstimulate it. being raised catholic, i am sure, contributed in some fashion - after all the catholics know guilt!

at 3am f. came crashing into my room screaming he had to throw up and making a horribly "fake" retching sound. so i got up and did my motherly duties. he tells me he threw up in my bedroom, which was not the case. so i took him to the bathroom, rubbed his back and asked what was wrong. he replied that he was so sick he didnt think he could go to connecticut this weekend (or school tomorrow). so i am thinking to myself that he is faking it, but nonetheless i administered a dose of medicine, supplied a puke bin and tucked him back in bed. when i got back in bed myself j. asked what was going on. i told him f. was overly anxious about the trip to connecticut for some reason, but that he was fine.

at 6am my door opens again, this time i did the one-eyed peek followed by the two-armed scoop of f. into bed with me (puke bin and all). i promptly rolled over and tried to get some more sleep. there were mumblings about how he was sick and couldnt go to connecticut or school. the whole time i am thinking, you have two days left of school before summer - kid you are going to school. when the mumblings eventually evolved into a loud roar i suggested a cartoon downstairs. off he ran, and i do mean ran. so i figured, he is fine. he is going to school, i am going to run my 8 gagillion errands so that we can pack up the car and go to connecticut, everything will be fine.

at 6:30am my door opens a third time. he doesnt like the cartoon that is on. i think to myself, i really need to teach this child how to work the remote - 4.75 is old enough to use a remote, right? again, i do the one-eyed peek followed by the two-armed scoop. this time he settles into sleep and for the first time i think maybe he really is feeling sick. quickly followed by no, he is probably just tired from waking up at 3am.

at 7am i hop out of bed and get m & k going. i decide f. really needs to go to school so i get him up and let him pick "whatever" he wants to breakfast. i hop in the shower and when i get out i hear him screaming "mommy, help!! i threw up all over everything!" turns out this time he was right! ugh!!!

7:30 insert guilt!!!